


Frozen through    Time

by Miyazakilady



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst and Porn, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Recreational Drug Use, Robot Feels, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Smut, Synths (Humans)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:52:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6688135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyazakilady/pseuds/Miyazakilady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natalie begins to realize her feelings for her ghoul companion...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heat

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic, figured I'd give it a go :) let me know what you think, there's more to come!

Nat was adjusting the dials on her pipboy to check her inventory. She really wanted a Stimpak, but rationed those strictly and settled for a Med-X til she got back into a settlement. She knew that her constant fussing with the device probably drove Hancock crazy, but being new to this world, it helped her keep a level head in the fast paced and crazy life she had walked into. The burns weren't that bad anyway, she thought as she shouldered her pack to dig the painkiller out.  
“Hey uh, do you have a minute, to talk?” His gruff voice said behind her.  
Her heart froze with nerves. This was it, he was sick of tagging behind her headstrong charges into shit shows. She nodded, “Yeah, just a sec..” she stalled as she finished dosing. Admitting to herself she hadn't been half prepared for dealing with those “Forged” assholes; the past three days had rolled into problem after problem. Preston had sent her north to the tiny settlement on the water to bring some parts to the Finches so they could get a clean water supply going. The Finch farm had intended to be a trade depot for the Minutemen, and she had taken the task on with a shrug, assuming it an easy drop off. When Albert Finch asked her to retrieve his damn sword, she shrugged this off too, thinking, what's a few raiders to me and the Mayor of Goodneighbor?' Nat had been trying to act levelheaded since Hancock invited himself along with her about two weeks before. She had gotten herself into the bad habit of running headfirst into dangerous situations that typically left her near deaths door- hiding behind a wall shooting up psycho to tip the scales in a mad firefight-, and didn't want to come across as an irrational greenhorn.   
It's Nicks' fault though, she thought. When she first went on that rescue mission to retrieve the detective synth, she realized quickly that it had been more of an “escorting a man with a death wish” mission. He had been the one to run headfirst into battle, and since she found him, she found it her responsibility to keep up and make sure he got out alive. The weeks they spent running together, she developed his tactics of identity-crisis-overcompensated by constant justice. This justice had a price on it; constantly on the move to rid the Commonwealth of scum, without stopping for much, including any kind of self preservation, they were a messy pair of anti heroes. He and Natalie had gotten along so well, and she related so much with Nick; him having opened up to her about how lost he was, on who he was, and she trying to find her purpose from being a lawyer, wife and mother, and all of a sudden a wanderer two hundred years in the future. On top of that, she was looking for her baby, who could be any age for all she knew, if he was still....  
“His kind of trouble, probably not what he meant.” Nat scoffed to herself, reflecting back on the ghouls words.  
She had been trying so hard to keep herself from bolting into overly risky situations since she picked up her new companion. “He was probably just looking to shoot some raiders, not follow me blind into this kind of shit.”  
Nat remembered Fahrenheit's scornful look as Hancock had scooped up some chems and ammo in his office for their trip. His bodyguard had stared her down cold, with a look ensuing responsibility for the Mayor's life.  
“I probably should avoid Goodneighbor for awhile, when Fahrenheit hears this she'll kill me. I don't blame him for ditching me though.” Nat thought, putting the remaining Med Ex back in her pack. She stood up, and when she turned around realized that he was much closer to her now, leaning up against the workbench next to her. They were just outside Saugus Ironworks, and had been catching their breaths for a few minutes before he had spoken up. She looked him over quickly for wounds, and met his face, expecting some kind of annoyed look, but he looked, nervous?  
“Is... everything alright?” She asked quietly, matching his nervous look.  
“Yeah, no, everything's good, that's what I wanted to talk to you about” He still had an unsteady tone, not his usual reassuring confidence he typically gave off. Hell, he was to blame for her headstrong actions too, sometimes. He had this daredevil attitude that was intoxicating, she fed off it. When she was near him, she felt her adrenaline pulse near danger, itching to show off, to match his cocky attitude. It was different with him than with Nick; with the synth they had a mutual acceptance that death could happen. With Hancock, he made her feel so alive.  
“Listen, being out here with you these past few weeks, even though we've been running all over the Commonwealth, I don't feel like I'm running. For years I've been running from something, from my past... and even setting up shop as Mayor, something I thought I could hang my hat on... now I see that's nothin' compared to this. Being out here with you, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I feel like I can help people, even though I was too much of a coward to do anything back then...”  
Nat felt herself blushing, this was clearly an intimate moment, one of which she did not expect from the confident ghoul that was always so on top of his game. He ran a town and instilled patriotism and courage with the fierceness of a great leader, of a courageous man. It was strange to see him in this light, as if he was uncertain... she felt her heart beating against her chest.  
He continued “And, I just wanted to say, I'm lucky to have you as a friend.”  
Her heart stopped beating and rose to her throat, which had become dry. She didn't expect this, everything happened so damn fast in the wastes. The first time she met this fierce figure in front of her, he left a savage, lasting impression, that she hadn't realized until recently had been building a fire in her that was becoming a temptation she was not prepared for in the least. Everything about him was attractive, his mannerisms, his morals, his body. Scarred as it was, she realized that his eyes drew her in, and his smile made her knees weak, like a pathetic schoolgirl. And here she stood, acting like a girl afraid of rejection, and the word 'friend' hit like a stone in the bottom of a well. 'Well, the Commonwealth is big enough, I can avoid Goodneighbor', she thought as she plunged into the question,  
“.... Is that all we are,... is friends?” As soon as the words left her mouth her heartbeat ricocheted, the bullet fired and couldn't be taken back.  
Hancock's eyes met hers and his familiar cocky smirk spread across his face as he spoke,“Well, now that you mention it, I have been having some, heh, impure thoughts..” that half grin made her quiver and she felt herself grow hot. He was about to move closer to her, eyes locked on hers when a bullet actually ricocheted a few feet to the left of the ghoul, hitting the wall behind him. In a split second they were on alert, “Maybe we can act on those sometime!” He finished his last thought as they took opposite walls against the door frame. With backs against the brick looking over their shoulders, Nat was positioning her rifle on her knee, holding it vertically, bracing for the fight.  
“After you, doll” He said with a tone and a smirk that made her ready to kill the fuckers interrupting their moment. He was braced against the wall with the rifle she had been tweaking for him, his shotgun still slung across his back.  
Nat rushed forward out the door, heading about twelve feet ahead to a tree with a few bushes standing in front of the building to get a closer shot. Hancock covered her until her back was vertical with the bark and she had her rifle braced against her right shoulder, scoping the offenders. 'Gunners, figures.' she thought back to the dick in the power armor holding Finch's sword, his computer logs had mentioned a Gunner camp nearby.  
“It never ends”, she sighed. As she finished exhaling the sights met with the forehead of what looked like a private. The impact resulted in a splatter of red and threw the man backwards. Hancock had pushed forward, running half crouched, he took out another, planting a few .44 rounds in their chest as they fell back. She rushed forward after him, aiming at the last woman rushing towards them. The Gunner was aiming her laser pistol at Nat's legs, but Nat swerved to the right, still running, and managed to shoot a round into the attacker's side. As she ran forward she saw Jake getting up off his knees.  
“Shit, kid was supposed to wait for us out back... they must've planned to use him as bait.” Nat thought as she ran towards him, the sound of Hancock's shotgun going off once behind her assured their enemies were no longer.  
“Jake! Are you ok? What the hell...”  
He threw his hands up in fear, “Please no! Please don't hurt me!” He interrupted her, and before she was in front of him, he had fallen back to his knees. She immediately leaned her rifle perpendicular against her shoulder, in signal that she had no intention to harm the idiot. Hancock walked up behind her, strapping his shotgun across his back again, slipping his hand through his belt loop, and standing with his at-ease lean behind her, gave her the lead.  
“Calm down, are you hurt?” She attempted to sound gentle, clearly he was worked up and had been through a lot. She had convinced him in front of the murderous fire obsessed raiders to ditch them and return home. Nat knew he had taken a chance relinquishing his loyalty to the Forged, and at least respected him for that.  
“I, I didn't mean to! I didn't want anyone to get hurt, I'm sorry. Thanks for not killing me, and coming when you did, I only joined the Forged to convince them not to hurt people around here.. When you showed up... did my dad really send you?” Jake's eyes had suddenly met with the ferocious piece of metal slung through her belt that his family for whatever reason had dubbed a “sword”. She recognized his hesitation, clearly there was some unfinished business between father and son.  
“Jake, your father seems a proud, stubborn man, he said it was for the sword, but I'm fairly certain he wanted me to get you back.” She said earnestly.  
“I just, I figured he hated me.. having left and all...” he stammered. “Will you, would you mind coming back with me? He might not shoot me if you're there.”  
Nat nodded sullenly, checking over her shoulder with Hancock. He shrugged, half nodding.  
“Sure Jake.” she answered. A wave of relief shown over his face, and he sat down on a nearby boulder to catch his breath. Natalie walked back to Hancock, who had been staring at her intently. She started to apologize;“I should make sure everything at the Finch settlement is running smoothly,” He cut her off, “You earned some rest General, why don't you go supervise your people,” he said with an admiring grin, teasingly adding “make sure there isn't a Finch family war.”  
“I know you want to get back home, I didn't mean to hold you up this long...” Nat continued, they had agreed to head North to Goodneighbor from Diamond City, when they had picked up Preston's request. Hancock hadn't seemed perturbed at the extra task when they took it on, but she knew part of the deal was that he could check in on his town at a fairly regular basis. She needed to do the same with Sanctuary, her hometown had become her responsibility practically overnight, and she felt the burden of checking back home every so often to make sure everyone was safe and resources were in good order. Truth be told, she missed that mutt Dogmeat like crazy and had snagged some fresh radstag meat that would last him awhile, better than that canned dog food they had stashed up at the settlement.  
“Tell you what, you get back to Sanctuary and get some R&R, I'll meet you there in a few days after I check on my good people.” He winked, back to the same confident Hancock. Whatever conversation they had been having before the firefight was done, at least for now, and they had responsibilities and wounds that needed tending. She nodded, looking back to Jake, “Ready to go?” Jake smiled, quickly nodding his head like a youth that had disobeyed, a puppy with his tail tucked in.  
Nat turned back to Hancock awkwardly nodding, they hadn't parted ways since he started tagging along, and after their talk she wasn't sure how to leave it. “See you in a few days?” She checked for reassurance. He smiled knowingly, started to turn his shoulder looking back at her and lazily waving his hand,”See ya then sister.”  
She turned back to Jake, starting their trek back to the farm, the desire to turn back to get one last goodbye look and watch the ghoul walking the other direction burning deeply within her, but the General walked forward, slightly West, towards her Minutemen duties, opposite from the direction her heart begged to go.

***

Once the family drama had settled, Nat unloaded some of the junk that she and Jake had toted back, leaving it with one of the farmhands. In good faith she hoped this would help get the trade flowing at the new settlement, and left them feeling confident in their new self sustainability. It took her a day and a half before she reached Sanctuary. The trek had it's regular obstacles that the wastes presented, but she was determined to get back home faster than usual. Her urge was not that of the desire for her own bed, to see her people, or even Dogmeat, although that too, was something that made her smile. But her typical trek through the wastes was not as sidetracked as she had usually been carefree to do. This time she rushed home. Reaching the bridge just before dawn, she was ready to collapse, and did so shortly after, with her giant pup at her feet.


	2. The art of the Craft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preston gives Nat something to help in the search for her son, Hancock insists on following her to the Glowing Sea

“General, a few of our men managed to find something useful for your trip to the Glowing Sea.” Preston had his usual professional, yet gentle voice. He caught Nat walking out onto the front patio of her workshop and her room in the main house. The day was turning from morning to noon with a bright sun high in the gray green sky and the yard bustling with settlers. It was nice to be home, Sanctuary was really starting to thrive, and waking up refreshed, she was ready to spend a few hours in the shop to pass the hours that she couldn't seem to make go by fast enough. She had slept late, and knew Preston had probably been pacing outside for the last hour or so, eager to get down to Minutemen business. She admired the man for his motivation, but sometimes pictured him foaming at the mouth, he was so eager to push her to the limits of a one man army.  
“Good morning Preston.” She smiled calmly, nodded at him. It was annoying and amusing at the same time how he insisted on calling her General, against her debate. She had been hesitant to take his promotion in the first place, but his persistence knew no bounds.  
Right down to business, he continued without missing a beat, “I made sure to let anyone out scavving know to keep a lookout, and, I think you'll really like what we found. You won't have to use those,” he nodded towards her growing collection of power armor gathered around the far end of the shop. Dr. Amari had said it was possible, but she'd still have to worry about stocking up on Rad-x, Rad-Away, and the very expensive fusion cores that were not easy to come by. Natalie had been procrastinating, she admitted to herself. Partially because just knowing her son was alive and maybe even safe gave her a moment to catch her breath. She had been clawing to find her kidnapped baby since the moment she stepped out of the cryo tube, and she was utterly spent. She had learned the true strength of being a mother, but had been relieved just to learn Shaun was still alive. It had also not been a surprise to learn that she had missed at least a decade of his life against her will, but there was so much for her to process since she learned his whereabouts, she was still trying to figure out the best way to go about it. Then there was the dilemma of a very hostile place, even compared to the rest of the Wasteland.  
Before they had parted ways, Nick had cautioned her that the Glowing Sea was no easy task, and urged her to take her time on this one. That was a lot coming from Nick, who was just as eager to find Shaun as she was. The two of them had been delving headfirst into deadly matters from day one, when he cautioned her, she listened.  
Preston gestured her to follow him over to a workbench, where he reached for a drawer, turning to hand her a folded up suit. “Full radiation suit, never seen any like these, or in such good condition. I guess they found it in an abandoned lab a few miles south of here, we still have a lot of resources we can pull from there, but on my orders they rushed back when they found this.” He passed it to Nat, who slowly took it, surprised and with a smile growing across her face.  
“Thank you Preston, “ she breathed sincerely, not knowing how to thank him fully. Her excitement grew and plans whirled in her head. Immediate thoughts of taking off towards the South stirred and she wanted to throw the suit on and start running. Nothing was holding her back from getting that much closer to her son now. Dr. Amari had marked a general idea of where Virgil might be hiding, if he was there at all, but being the best lead she had, she was rearing to leave.  
“That's... the only one,” he hesitated, she recognized his pained expression; it seemed he had intentions to follow her down there.  
“That's alright Preston, Nick offered to go...” but he was in Diamond City, and she didn't feel like making the detour. She was determined to head out as soon as possible with nothing getting in her way, she didn't mind in the least if she had to do the whole thing alone. 'There I go being reckless again', she thought, 'I suppose Strong would be a good fit...' it was hard for her to contain her dislike to this idea. It wasn't his appearance that deterred her, but Strong didn't make the best company, she had tried to converse with him, but he really only showed interest in crushing living creatures with a kind of brute force that didn't make for the best of diplomatic relations. He was nothing like, no one was anything like the ghoul she had been traveling with.  
“Hancock.” She whispered, half in surprise and with a tone of despair. He was meeting her here in a few days, or was supposed to. She couldn't wait that long, looking down at her new found radiation suit, a sense of maternal duty would not allow her to wait around while her son was in the hands of the Institute. She had to go. Snapping back to reality she glanced back at Preston, who was eyeing her curiously, probably questioning his choice in General by now, she figured.  
“Thanks again Preston, I'll be heading out as soon as possible,” she took on a commanding tone, “Unless you require- uh, need me here a little longer?” Her confidence wavered, this role as “General” was like wearing a suit that didn't quite fit.  
He clapped her on the shoulder reassuringly and nodded, “You go find your son, Natalie.” He smiled, and turned, not wasting a moment to return to his patrol.  
Nat stood there staring blankly for a moment at the radiation suit. “Hancock.” 

 

***

It didn't take long for her to think of a way to leave an apology note for him when he reached Sanctuary, she had found a shotgun from prewar that was in surprisingly good condition. One thing she had learned about herself since emerging into the daylight of the Commonwealth, was that she had a knack for tinkering with weapons. She had been standing over the work bench, welding a nice piece of metal to fasten sites as a finishing touch on a very tuned up weapon, when his voice made her freeze. 

“Never did much crafting, I'm not even allowed near power tools.” She could hear the smirk in his tone, and she tried to regain her composure from the surely noticeable startle he had given her. 

“Well then I suppose it's a good thing you have me around then,” she said, turning with her masterpiece in hand to face the ghoul that gave her the best kind of chills. He was leaning against the outer wall of the shop, directly behind her, with one knee up and his arms crossed.  
His eyes had clearly been glancing everywhere but her eyes, but when she turned they met hers, then glanced at the shotgun, nodding, “Whatcha got?”  
Nat handed the gun to him, and he stood up from his casual lean against the wall to take it in his hands admiringly. “Sure got a way with weapons sister,” he smiled appreciatively, starting to hand it back to her. She shook her head and began,  
“It's yours. I know you came all this way to meet up with me, but there's been a change of plans, I have a lead on finding my son. It's in the Glowing Sea, I won't drag you down there, but Preston found me a radiation suit, and...” she started to trail off, she hadn't been able to look him in the eye as she said this, afraid he might be angry he had come all this way for nothing, and pissed that he was getting left behind. “..I have to go.” she finished quietly, finally meeting his eyes.  
Hancock had straightened, his eyes bright and without hesitation he crossed his arms, one hand reaching for his chin contemplating, “The Glowing Sea huh? Well count me in, there's no way in hell you're getting rid of me that easy.” He smiled a full, honest smile, and she matched his smile with the biggest grin she could manage.  
“I'm surprised you got here this quick ...”  
“Well, Goodneighbor was too calm, and I was itching to get back out there with ya, what can I say, you're my kind of trouble.” His eyes had a twinkle in them, and she had the strongest urge to grab him and kiss him. She hadn't noticed his slow saunter towards her, and how close their faces were, and his dark, twilight eyes staring deeply into hers, and the heat from his body radiating on her.  
The two of them were locked in a breathless moment where she had lost all sense of reality and was staring dreamily back at him, waiting for his embrace.  
“There you are!” MacCready's voice split through the silence and tore the very fine gap between Nat and Hancock like paper. They both snapped back to reality, her gaze reluctantly turning away from the ghoul she was so encapsulated by. She turned to look at the ex-gunner, who clearly had been seeking her out and had stopped short when he found her locking gazes with the Mayor of Goodneighebor. MacCready awkwardly, but sharply recovered his mistake by continuing, “Almost thought you forgot about me..” He laughed, trying to clear the air of his intrusion.  
“Hey McCready, I'm sorry, I've been running Minutemen business, just got back this morning and,well I, actually we're heading to the Glowing Sea.” This time it was Nat who sounded guilty. After the mislead heist she and the ex-gunner had run with Bobbi, she had sent McCready to guard Sanctuary on salary til she returned. She knew he was impatient, and didn't take the idea as his favorite, but when she first confronted Hancock after the mishap, she didn't think it would make a good impression dragging along a mercenary right after they had almost -without realizing- raided John Hancock's private warehouse.  
“Uh, alright ,well ya know, it's not like I have anything better to do..” he stated, half sarcastic, half like the gun for hire that he was.  
“Well, I only have the one suit, and I'll throw in some more bottlecaps, I can really use your help here..” she continued. Really she had wanted to keep an eye on MacCready since she found him being hassled by those jackasses in the Third Rail. Something about him stirred up her protective side, like a big sister, she wanted to keep him out of trouble. Sanctuary seemed like a good place to stash the guy, and she knew he had a good heart, even if he came across as a self absorbed mercenary.  
“I have a lead on my son, it's something I can't wait on.”, she finished. At this he softened, and said,  
“Well don't go get yourselves killed, then I won't get paid.” Nat knew that was his way of saying be safe, and took it with a smile.  
She turned back to Hancock, “Well, I guess we should get ready and head out?”  
“After you,” he said this with his cocky half grin, hinting at something more. Nat made quick to pack and patted Dogmeat on the head as a farewell as they headed towards to gate.

***

 

 

They had been walking for a few minutes, having left Sanctuary behind and the Red Rocket was nearing view. They had been joking around about MacCready's odd sense of morals and Preston's persistence on working her to death when they both stopped, still laughing, but their laughs fading into calm smiles. The sun had moved to the eastern part of the sky, and they're silhouettes were already casting shadows.  
“I'm really glad you're coming with me, I wasn't sure I could make this trip alone.” Nat started, “but if you don't mind, I don't really plan on making any stops til we find Virgil.”  
“Hey, I gotcha, you sure you can handle that, though?” He looked a bit concerned when he said this.  
She nodded, although she wasn't too sure herself, but she was determined.  
“The question is, can you keep up with me?” There was no doubt in her tone, she was flirting with him. He picked up on this and flashed his half grin, his eyes heavily lidded, “You have no idea.”  
Fuck she wanted him. Why did he do this to her? His air of confidence was so sexy, but he wasn't so conceited or arrogant that it annoyed her. He had a humility about him, that she had caught glimpses of, which melted her heart and made her want to press herself against him, to let him know he was worth something. She wasn't sure if it was right, what she was feeling. Everything from her past life had shattered in an instant and the one thing that was left had been ripped away from her and dangling out of reach in the hands of the Institute. She knew it wasn't the time for feelings, but all she could think about was Hancock, and the way he looked at her.  
This casual flirting and teasing went on into the night, as they challenged each other, making games as they went; him shooting his new shotgun from the hip, clearing a group of bloatflies with his extended magazine in seconds. Her, flaunting finesse with her favorite choice in ranged weaponry, silently planting a .45 caliber between the eyes of a Yao Guai at two hundred meters. Hancock eyed her custom rifle with some envy, she had been working on it for weeks, and with a night vision scope and suppressor, she couldn't blame him. They talked about guns as they walked, something they both found quite a bit of interest in. It was nice to relate with him, and as they traveled they learned more about each other. She was cheerful that it was Hancock making the trip with her. She certainly didn't feel lonely, and the time passed quickly in each others' company.

 

It took them a few days to reach the border of the Glowing Sea, and by the time they reached it, she was spent. She had kept a strong face, but as they came upon what looked surely to be a Super Mutant camp, she was ready to collapse. Hancock had been eyeing her nervously the past few days, and was even more eager than usual to keep a steady supply of chems flowing in her veins to keep her going. He was starting to feel tired himself, but his tolerance was much higher than hers, and was nothing a line of Mentats couldn't fix. He was staring at her now, eyes glazed over with a concerned look, watching her take aim at the beast standing up in a crows nest nearly three hundred meters from her spot. They were crouched behind some bushes and rocks, downwind of the pit of highly radiated substance that looked like a glowing pool. There were at least four or five Mutants that they could make out, plus one of those vicious, reptilian beasts that were something like the equivalent of a Super Mutant junkyard dog.

“We can probably sneak by..” he started in a whisper. He knew she was a good shot, but she was tired, and even after taking the one with the missile launcher out that was on lookout, they still had to storm the place aggressively and swiftly. It was something that took energy. He had contemplated doing it himself, which he felt might be the case if she wasn't careful.  
She shook her head stubbornly. She had weighed out their options, and there was no way around it. In order to sneak by, they'd have to double back, and increase their distance, going off path, even then, she was worried that the fucker up in the nest would spot them and use them for target practice once they were too far away and out in the open to defend themselves. No, it was better to take them out. They were bloodthirsty beasts, and besides, she could use a few hours rest, which would be her reward for clearing out the nest. They were just on the edge of the Glowing Sea and she knew full well that she needed to recuperate in peace before they truly started their search. Just a few hours, though, she reminded herself.  
Without a second thought she tightened on the trigger, and in unison with the kick she watched the giant fall over the railing of his perch silently, tumbling down to alert the camp. It was sometime in the middle of the night and against the backdrop of the glowing green pool, an amazing show of fireworks burst in their direction. The silence was pierced by hot red energy bursts from laser rifles flying overhead, and the freakish hound bayed its bloodcurdling siren before charging straight at them. Hancock met the beast's attack with a bold block, bracing himself firmly with one leg in front of the other, holding his shotgun out horizontally with both arms for the hound to chomp its jaws down on. In the same instant he grabbed his dagger tucked behind his back, still holding the shotgun with one hand as he reached for the blade swiftly and with a thrust straight into the top of the mutant creatures skull, twisted to silence the brute. Nat ran forward to take on a charging Super Mutant wielding a sledgehammer.  
What used to be human was now a towering monster, the skin covering its body was a sickly green and was too tight for the bulging mass of unnatural muscle that made up the humanoid body. Its face was twisted into a permanent grimace, the skin around the mouth and lips pulled back across its face so it constantly bore its full set of teeth. He was huge, eminent over Nat's frame by at least a couple feet, and his weapon of choice was as large as she was. For all of this power though, he was at the disadvantage of speed. She rushed towards his swing, and was standing behind him, turning to fire her combat rifle point blank between the brutes ribs when his sledgehammer crashed down, shaking the ground beneath them. In short round bursts she emptied her clip, and watched as the giant's hand released its grip on the handle of his hammer, clutching the open wound with his opposite hand and stumbling backwards. He roared, shaking his head in the death cry of a warrior, and slowly gained momentum in a final attempt forward at her. She didn't expect him to reach her, and had waited a moment too late to realize. The Super Mutant had intended on grabbing her entirely, but she was dodging to the side, and he changed his mind mid fall and met her temple with a closed fist.  
The blow crashed into her skull and everything went black. Everything was dull and she didn't know how long it lasted, but all she could feel was the searing ache in her head. Her senses had gone blank, but slowly, as if from a dream, dull noises began to float back into her world. She heard men screaming, and gunfire, but it sounded distant. She shook her head and forced herself to open her eyes, the world was blurry, and the surreal scene of the bright green radiated pool against black came into view.  
Nat reached for her gun blindly, as if reaching to regain her bearing. The Mutant lay before her, his body convulsing in death, and she reached for the spot where the blow had hit, to make sure it wasn't in pieces. She was sitting up, her knees bent, and once her fingers found the familiar feel of the rifle beside her, she propped it up to gain leverage, forcing herself to stand. Back on her feet, she realized she had only been out for a few seconds. In that time, she also realized she had rushed forward into a pit of savage green men, one of which was already running at her again, this one wielding a shoddy post-apocalyptic pipe rife. She heard Hancock yelling his own battle cry, rushing forward to meet her. Then they were shoulder to shoulder, and as she had turned back to see her companion rush to her side, she noticed another mutant trying to flank the ghoul. He bore a pipe rifle as well, and was closing in quick. Without hesitation Nat began firing at the flanking mutant, and Hancock had begun firing shells into the one rushing Natalie.  
It was moments like this that she secretly craved. They needed no communication, and despite her tendencies to rush into the thick of things, Hancock followed her lead and the two held their own and then some. Shoulder to shoulder, raiding a camp of beasts with their lives at steak, and she wanted it. It was sick, she knew, but the adrenaline, the rush, the sheer strength she found in herself and witnessed from the small stature-ed ghoul, it gave her a rush like no other. The Mutants fell at their feet, and Hancock glanced at her, staring at the spot the Mutant had hit.  
“Stay put, I'll take the last two.” He didn't give her time to respond and rushed forward, picking up a mini gun next to the makeshift campfire. He lifted it with his knees and gave it a bit of a kick to get the Gatling running, and smirked as it began to whir in an almost musical tone. A third Super Mutant made itself present as its laser cell round grazed Hancock's right shoulder. He glared quickly at the spot, and rushed forward, Gatling screaming as he went. “Oh, hoh! I'm feral now!” He shouted, leaving Nat behind to pull out her .45 revolver.  
She spun the chamber and took aim at the Mutant twenty yards away. He was taking cover on the lowest level of the encampment structured around the massive tree, and she rushed forward, aiming where she last saw the enemy's head. He forfeited his cover to fire at her, and she emptied her revolver into his chest and neck. She quickly ran up the ramp to the second level, where a half dead Mutant peppered with 5mm rounds was making an attempt to reach a machete buried in the wood of the floorboards. She put a few round in his skull and climbed the stairs circling around the tree, to find Hancock still toting his overheated mini gun, and watched as hot steel bashed upwards into the jaw of his offender.  
For such a small guy, comparably speaking, it was impressive to watch the final beast fall at his assault. It was a large gun, and having to gain some force to use it as a battering ram took strength. He was certainly strong, and fast, and he was standing over the brute, shoulders broad and triumphantly moving up and down as he reveled in his justice. He turned slightly, noticing Nat was behind him.  
“Thought I told you to stay put,” he smirked.  
She smiled, answering, “You know I 'm not very good at taking orders, even if you are a Mayor.” He smiled, but had suddenly dropped the mini gun and was rushing towards her; before she realized she felt faint, she was in his embrace. He was looking down at her, and she couldn't quite make out what he said before the darkness hit her again.


	3. Ground Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock and Natalie deal with Super Mutants, sexual tension, and the Glowing Sea

It was still nighttime when she came to, and she realized she was laying down on something fairly soft that smelled like mildew and campfire smoke.  
“Heya doll, took quite a hit there, I was getting worried.” his voice was gentle and kind, and she focused, sitting up to find him sitting next to her on a crate. They were in the top level of the tree fort that they had successfully cleared out, and she realized she had been lying on an old sleeping bag. Reaching for her head, she felt a bandage on the spot where she had taken the blow from the freakish humanoid.  
“It was bleeding pretty bad, broke the skin, probably gave you a concussion, I tried to wake you up...” He continued, watching her hand explore her temple.  
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have rushed in like that, I guess I was off my game..” she started. When he realized she was coherent he brightened and went on. “Well, maybe he at least knocked some sense inta ya'.” Hancock winked. He still looked at her worriedly though.  
“It's not that bad, a little sore, I think it's more me being tired than anything.” Natalie said reassuringly.  
“Well, I used a few Stimpaks on ya, and figured you'd need some of this” he handed her a bottle of what looked like purified water. She scowled at him.  
“We shouldn't be using these, they're for emergencies...”  
“We aren't using them,” he corrected, “you are, and you look like you could use em.” With this she accepted the water and took a few sips. She looked ahead out at the sky, there were stars spread across a clear night, and despite being on the outskirts of Ground Zero, the weather was still calm.  
“How long was I out?”  
“Probably about twenty minutes or so, you're lucky you woke up when you did, I was about to drag you back to the nearest settlement to find a doctor. You sure you're okay though?” Hancock tried to play off his concern with an air of coolness, but she didn't buy it.  
“I'm fine, thank you, John.” she looked back at him, with a slight smile on her lips. Letting out a sigh partially of relief and partially of craving, she looked around, searching for something. He recognized her look and pulled a red inhaler out of his pocket. Her eyes met his, they smiled devilishly at each other and she took his offering gladly.

Smoke exhaled slowly from her lips, and she let it embrace her cheeks, dancing in swirls outwardly as her eyelids drooped. In a haze she smiled peacefully, and gazed out at the sky, out at the wastelands. She could feel his eyes on her, but continued to look outward. Nat was propped against the railing, arms braced with her hands loosely crossing and her legs slightly outward, pushed into a forward lean. She was quiet for a few minutes, enjoying her high and the peacefulness, and her company. Finally she spoke again.  
“You know, it's really quite beautiful,” she said in a contemplative tone, lazily waving her hand towards the lands in front of them.  
Hancock was still slouched on the crate to her knowledge, smoking a cigarette sedately, but without her noticing had slowly approached the railing to glance out at her indications alongside her. He mirrored her stance, cigarette burning lazily between his fingers as he looked at her. He didn't say anything, but somehow she thought he knew what she meant, and prompted her to continue.  
“I mean, we're on the edge of Ground Zero, I know, but it just..”  
“Seems to fit.” He finished, nodding in agreement.  
She loved how they always seemed to be on the same page,and she loved these moments of respite with him, where he would pull out a chem for the two of them, which somehow felt like an intimate, slightly taboo bond they could share in secret.  
“Ever since I was put on ice, no even before that, everything happens so fast. Sometimes I feel like I have no control, it's nice.. this is nice.” She mused, and giggled quietly as she noticed the high taking hold.  
“I can't imagine, having had to adjust to this crazy world, and what the hell possesses you to want to keep this ugly mug around... you're quite an interesting woman Nat.” He said, in a matter of fact tone.  
She just barely shook her head, gazing at him questioningly. “Being with you, it makes me happier than I ever remember. And ugly, is definitely not the word I would use to describe you, John Hancock... Brave, honorable, and charming..” she realized she was openly announcing her inner thoughts and desires and caught herself before she said “devilishly handsome, sexy.” But he was gazing into her eyes now, his expression had gone from a confused, contemplative serious look, to one with a half grin and heavy lidded eyes. He was staring deeply into her eyes again and she melted. They were so close and neither showed any sign of unlocking eyes. “Sexy,” she breathed, dreamily staring at his lips, then back to his eyes. He caught her gaze and closed the space between them. His hand was on her lower cheek, slightly grasping her neck and jaw to tilt her chin to his face, and he met her lips with his. It was a warm, rough yet smooth texture, his lips on hers. He smelled like gun oil and pipe tobacco. His other arm had found her waist and moved to the small of her back, and the hand on her cheek slid through her hair, grasping the back of her head with a handful of her hair to press her deeper into his chest. She felt the pressure of his kiss, and his mouth open slightly, her hands had found his neck, and she was reveling in his embrace when he suddenly pulled back, smiling warmly at her he said, “wanted to do that at least once.” He looked, with a sad smile at her as he turned away, “You get some sleep, I'm not dragging your cute ass across the Glowing Sea.” He began to walk down the stairs, and left Natalie staring hopelessly after him, lost in their embrace cut short, and frozen where she stood from the Jet coursing through her and the exhaustion bearing down. He shouted back up, “I'm gonna round up some supplies around camp, we can head out when you sleep those drugs off beautiful.”  
She smiled to herself. Of course, he thought she was so doped up she didn't realize she was kissing a ghoul. The most intoxicating, dead sexy ghoul in the wastelands. She felt her way dizzily back to the sleeping bag, and sleep met her instantly. 

***

“Dammit Hancock!” Natalie shot up, the sun was high in the sky, even though looming clouds had started to press in on what had started as a clear day.  
“Mornin' Sunshine,” He answered back as brash as she had called him out, but he had a teasing tone. He was walking towards her, carrying the radiation suit. “You're gonna want to put this on now.” She gave him a playful, scornful look and accepted the suit in a mock- begrudging attitude. She stood up and began removing her armor.  
“You shouldn't have let me slept so late.” She said as she took off her worn brown leather jacket. Nat was busying herself with changing, trying to make up for lost time.  
Like a true gentleman, Hancock turned his back as she began to undo the zipper on her military pants. “You looked awfully peaceful, you're cute when you sleep. You drool too.” She could sense the smirk as he said this, and playfully tossed her combat boot she had slipped off at him. He didn't answer, but stood with his back to her and his arms crossed, cockily smirking in triumph.  
Natalie slipped one leg into the radiation suit, then the other, the helmet she strapped to her pack for the time being. She was going to wait until the Geiger counter started jumping before she had to cramp her head into the globe that she was sure would absorb heat from the sun like a miniature greenhouse. They made their way out of the camp, and walked for about twenty or so minutes when her pip boy began clicking. Hancock nodded at her, and watched as she sealed the helmet on tight, double checking that she was zipped and protected. The two continued forward, towards a gray green plain of desolation. They pushed into No Man's Land, and she took in the view with awe.  
When she had rode the massive lift from the vault to the surface, she remembered her heart beating, expecting a flat, black world with nothing left. She remembered her relief when she saw trees and buildings still standing, she remembered hope. This was different. This was otherworldly. For miles ahead, all there was was charred ground. Craters and dead trees scattered the otherwise empty landscape. The ground itself was uneven, as if the very core of the earth had churned the land over and over again, shifting uncomfortably under the atomic desolation that had once scattered Ground Zero. The more they walked, the thicker the air became, the foggier their vision. Neither Natalie nor Hancock spoke, there was nothing that could be said, in the presence of such bleakness. The sky filled with black and green clouds, the air around them swirled in a thick, toxic green mist, and what looked like neon green lightning flashed occasionally, with a strange echo that never seemed to hit anything. The world spun around them and Nat's Geiger counter clicked madly, tossing her nerves within the Glowing Sea. She silently thanked her luck in having Hancock with her. She was terrified, being out here alone would be impossible.  
It wasn't the danger of the Glowing Sea that had her so unnerved, but what it represented. This was done by her people, of her time. Which seemed much worse than the people she had come across two hundred years later. She knew that wasn't the case, but one could seriously lose themselves in the despair of the self destructive nature when thrown into the center of its most horrific destructive accomplishment to date. At the same time, she was glad she came here. It was hard to grasp the concept that this was once a heavily populated area. Where they walked, and the suit she wore; she could have sworn she wasn't even on Earth, if she didn't know any better. But she did know better. She knew this was a mass grave for thousands of lives, and for her previous life, and in visiting it she was paying homage.

She turned back to Hancock, mostly for reassurance, some kind of link to sanity. He looked back at her questioningly, “Doin' ok doll?”  
Natalie nodded and pressed forward, checking the map on her pip boy. They still had a lot of ground to cover, miles of this desolate trek. Eventually, the shock of the aftermath of Ground Zero had worn off, and she was able to focus better. It was still difficult to talk, and they spent a few hours mostly in quiet. Finally she broke the silence as they reached the top of a hill, she stopped to  
catch her breath, gazing towards the direction they were headed,  
“All this chaos, this place is lifeless. I don't know how any man could actually live out here.” Her doubt was obvious, but Hancock reassured her.  
“Well, you've seen first hand the survival capabilities of people nowadays, and who the hell knows what Institute people are capable of. We'll find him, kid.”  
Natalie nodded again, they began walking when the ground shook and an awful scraping noise followed by a rumble and then a flash of dirt and black mass shot up before them. A massive creature had hurled itself from the ground with a flash of violent force, and with an unnerving hiss was running straight for her. It was a scorpion, rather a mutant scorpion. She had heard talk of them, but wastelanders called them Radscorpions, mostly due to the fact for the creature's preference for highly radiated areas. She'd never seen one before, and as the freakish arachnid bolted for her, she managed to shout out a “Shit! Hancock!” Her gun wasn't drawn and she was fumbling for her revolver as he jumped in front of her, drawing the scorpions attack, he ran to its side as he unleashed a round of shotgun shells.  
“Shoot its stinger!” He yelled as the same rumble and scraping noise bursting from the ground behind them brought forth another toxic monster. He ran for this one and left Natalie to finish the beast before her, with its damaged stinger hanging crooked and limp. It squealed in what sounded like rage, and she aimed her sights for its tiny head with multiple sets of soulless beady eyes fixed on her soft, vulnerable skin. The thing was covered in black armor that look impenetrable, and she hoped the rounds to its head would be enough. As it closed in on her, pincers reaching out, she fired her last shot and slammed her boot down two or three times to smash into its head. It squealed, hissed, and crumpled. Hancock had finished off the one behind her and was watching her proudly.  
“You handle yourself pretty well sister.” He purred, kicking his kill to push it down a shallow slope in victory.  
“Shit, those things are huge.” She sighed, exasperated, and smiling that they were still alive. “Never really liked spiders, or scorpions.” Nat shook her head slightly, gathered herself, and they pressed on. 

They left the carcasses behind, and it was then that she began to think back to the night before. Once again, everything happened so damn quick, their journey, the fight with the mutants, then, time had slowed, almost frozen. They had kissed. She remembered the feel, freezing for a moment, attempting to press her hands to her lips as she thought back to the embrace that made her heart both stop, and beat faster at the same time. She was smiling slightly, and holding her hand to the glass of her helmet when she realized Hancock was looking at her, eyes open in curiosity, studying her.  
“Hot.” She indicated to her helmet, as she caught herself. Now wasn't the time to bring it up, she supposed. Considering where they were, and what they were after, it wasn't exactly the right time for romance. He nodded and regained his bodyguard-like stance, walking slightly behind her, off to the side. She wished he didn't always walk behind her, but him guarding her flank was definitely his style, until they got into trouble. Then he had a tendency to rush forward and take the brunt of an attack. He seemed to constantly be on her guard, constantly focused on protecting her. It was chivalrous, and thinking back to their introduction, she supposed it was to be expected from him.  
Nat laughed quietly to herself, picturing the ghoul in a tri-corn hat and red coat, looking like a pirate as he approached the asshole trying to shake her down upon walking through the gates of Goodneigbor for the first time. Without hesitation, and with a flash of his knife, he had calmly swaggered up to the guy, with one hand on the vagabond's shoulder and the other grasping a dagger, had thrust the blade into the man's torso. The jackass dropped dead on the ground, as Hancock wiped his blade and swaggered over to Natalie to greet her. As far as first impressions went, that was by far her favorite. She was grinning from ear to ear, when his voice caught her attention.  
“Ok doll, you're starting to worry me, what the hell are you smiling about?” He was looking at her suspiciously, as if she had taken on too much radiation and was losing her shit.  
“I um, I'm just thinking. About how we met.” She admitted, smirking at him.  
He smiled in response and began,“You know, when I first saw you, I was concerned that you couldn't handle yourself. You looked fresh out of the vault, like bait for, well, just about anything out here. Sure proved me wrong.” He smiled back, starting to chuckle himself now. He continued on. “Then you walked into my office wearing some superhero get up from over two hundred years ago playing bringer of justice, and I thought for sure that you were batshit.” He was laughing openly now, and it was infectious. He had a gruff, honest laugh, and it made her skin tingle.  
She smiled, now a little bit sadly, thinking back to agreeing to help Kent Connolly out with his dream. When she had agreed to help him find the costume, she figured he'd take on the role himself. But he had begged her to be the Silver Shroud, and the childlike innocence and hope in his eyes left her unable to refuse. She took the role on as earnestly as she could, to make her new friend happy, but he got so carried away with it, the whole thing had become more serious than she ever planned. When she found out the leader of a group of raiders was holding him hostage, she had dropped everything, with Nick Valentine by her side on a desperate rescue mission to save poor Kent.  
They had searched the entire hospital, guns blazing in a furious rush against time, only to find Sinjin holed up with a strong defense in a large room. He had been standing on an upper level, gun pointed directly at Kent's head. Kent was on his knees, hands behind his head in silence, looking desperately at her and Nick, eyes wide with fear. Her heart tugged deep in her chest, and she looked mournfully at the ground now.  
“Hey, kid, he knew what he was getting himself into, you still helped a lot of people.”  
She didn't say anything. A tear rolled down her cheek. She felt guilty, responsible. So many thoughts ran through her head, of what she could have done, should have done differently.  
“I tried.” Is all that came out. Suddenly she was back in his arms. He was holding her tightly against him. “He was a good man, you did everything and more. He was lucky to have you as a friend. Don't forget that Nat.” She wanted to take her helmet off, she wanted to be closer to him. The suit put up a barrier between them where she couldn't smell him, or nuzzle his neck. They stood like this for a few minutes. It was the cracking of a neon thunderbolt that separated their embrace, and they silently, slowly peeled away, to press deeper into the Glowing Sea. 

It took two days to cross the endless expanse of Ground Zero, before the map indication showed they were finally close. They had just transcended a very steep elevation when an odd site came into view. She was exhausted, and thought for a moment that it was some kind of mirage. No, it was a building, a metal shack, with lights on. She glanced at Hancock questioningly.  
“Think that's his place?” She asked hopefully.  
He shrugged, wonder on his face as well. They made for the building as more came into view. It would look like a completely normal, quaint fishing village in another world. But the entire picture was even more strange than the initial scene of the Glowing Sea when they had entered. The camp looked so out of place in this strange world, where the air was so thick with radiation and sickly glowing pools of orange spotting the landscape. They approached the camp and Nat thought a horse had kicked her in the chest when she saw, human beings, walking around causally, as if running day to day tasks.  
“What the.. hell?” She stuttered.  
Hancock sighed in annoyance. “Of course. Children of Atom.” He said matter of factly, and finished with, “...freaks.”  
Natalie bristled now, knowing that anyone, or anything that Hancock didn't like, she was pretty certain she wouldn't either. He took the lead, walking head on towards the camp, and ignored the first man approaching him. The man wore no suit, no helmet, just a ragged looking robe, and '...a colander?' she stared. He had a pasta strainer, strapped to his chest and it was emitting some strange noises. Before she could catch up with Hancock, the man approached her.  
“Atom welcomes you, friends, release yourselves to his power that you feel his Glow, Come forth and drink his waters of salvation and succumb to his Glory!” The man praised, staring intently at her.  
“Oh,” she thought to herself, seeing at once what Hancock's problem was. She stood awkwardly, unable and unsure of how to respond. Hancock doubled back for her, grabbing her by the elbow and nodded to the man, “Thank you good sir, just passing through.” He said gruffly, and pulled Natalie along. She was relieved by his rescue.  
“So, cultists?” She mumbled to him as he escorted her towards a larger building across a narrow bridge.  
“Something like that,” he said, “these people got way too much radiation in their brains.”  
They walked up a few steps to face a woman simply standing there, as if waiting in greeting. She spoke first.  
“Atom welcomes you, for we are all his children. How may I help you?” She held her arms towards them, awaiting a response. Natalie wasn't sure how to talk to these people, if they were even worth talking to, so Hancock started in.  
“We're looking for Virgil. Is he here?” He asked gruffly, trying to be polite.  
“I know no one of this name that lives among Atom's children, perhaps you have looked elsewhere? Perhaps you are looking for the wrong thing? But yet, behold, for your search need be no more, for you have found His glory and your sufferings can be washed away in His Glow.” She smiled with a peaceful, calm smile. Natalie noticed her attire was the same as the other man's, complete with colander on chest. She started to pull away, convinced they would find nothing here.  
Hancock did not give in so easily, although not sure what he was looking for himself, he persisted, “So no one new has shown up around here lately?”  
The woman replied steadfastly, “We all come and go with Atom's light, as we are all one with his Glow.”  
Natalie was irritated, but decided to give it a try, they did come a long way after all.  
“We are looking for Virgil, we're his friends, we're not here to hurt him.” She finished honestly, begging the woman for a hint if she had one to offer.  
The woman's eyes flashed over Nat, and she squinted, saying slowly, and more quietly than before, “He does not live here, but he has been here. Not for a few weeks now. I don't think he wants to be found.” She tried to redirect the conversation. “You are welcome here, among the Children of Atom, we have food and you can drink of his Glow and be enlightened.”  
Hancock was out of patience now. “The only enlightenment we're lookin for here is Virgil's wherabouts lady, you know where we can find him?”  
She glared back coldly at the ghoul, but answered nonetheless. “I think he lives further South of here, about a days walk, up in a cave. I don't think he wants to be found.” she repeated herself, with a half suspicious, half accusing tone. With this, she walked away.  
Natalie looked at Hancock, she was relieved, the lead, and the trail, were appearing not to be a shot in the wind. She glanced around the camp, wishing that it was a settlement that had some kind of protection from radiation. She desperately wanted a bath, wanted to rest, and wanted to eat. She wanted to get out of this damn suit. She could feel her hair sticking to her head from sweat, and the suit was itchy and hot. Hancock noticed her human needs on her face and asked,  
“You uh, wanna camp here?” It was a suggestion, but as he glanced around she agreed with his tone. She really didn't. Nothing about this place made her want to stay a moment longer. She shook her head and said, “No, best we follow the trail, and get the hell out of here.” She smirked at him.  
“Good idea.” He nodded in agreement, and without addressing another person, they left the cultists as quickly as they came. 

They continued south, deeper into the green wasteland, in hopes of nearing the end of their search. It had been a few hours and Natalie was sweating off the last of the water in her body. She desperately needed to rest, to re-hydrate. Hancock was eyeing her again, with a nervous attitude. He tried to sound upbeat, “Jeez, you think the guy would feel safe enough, being on the edge of this hellhole. We gotta be getting close.”  
He was trying to reassure her, to give her strength, she took it with an exasperated smile and forced herself to continue on. She had to do this, she had to find this one shot that could be the answer to finding her son. She wondered if Shaun was still safe, and who the man he was calling 'papa' was, if he was cruel, or gave Shaun a good home, a safe home. She didn't know what she'd do when she found her son, what she would say. She couldn't imagine that he was happy, hearing what she had about the Institute. Nat contemplated what she would say to her long lost child, and wondered if Virgil had any answers for her in the meantime, to give her an idea of how Shaun might be living. What if he was safe, happy, even. What would she do then? Bring him out into the open into the dangerous wastes, or try to convince the Institute to give her a safe haven for her son. 'What am I thinking? I need to get him out of there.' She finished her thoughts and carried her mind elsewhere.  
“So, you've encountered the Children of Atom before?” She asked Hancock, simply trying to start a conversation to keep her mind off of her fatigue and her missing child.  
“More often than I'd like, but I think most of em probably live in swamps like this now.” He answered mildly, in a half bored tone. “They're not anything to worry about, at least for a ghoul. Sometimes they have gamma guns on em'. Bad business for a smoothskin like you, that radiation'll take you out faster than this place will.” He said, walking behind her.  
“I'll keep that in mind.” She answered, her mind forcing her to keep her legs moving. Step by step, they marched, further south, searching for a cave that held answers she desperately prayed for. 

***

It took them into the morning, as far as she could tell by the violent unnatural sky,  
before they found what they were looking for. They were descending a hill, and saw in the near distance another hill that carried upwards to the end of what looked like a cave entrance embedded in the rock at the peak. There was, what looked like a path leading up to the entrance, with high walls of rock on both sides. They had begun walking to the base of the hill, when through the glowing green fog a huge figure that had been standing with its back to them, preoccupied with the ground stood at full height and turned to meet her glance. Before she had fully processed the sight, the beast had, in two giant bounds descended the hill to charge head on at her, murderous, long claws flaring.  
A Deathclaw. In a split second Natalie had processed the sheer terror the beast presented, it was much better equipped for battle than she. Her instinct did not fail to remind her of the fearsome creature, of which she had encountered once before. Her and Hancock had been following a trail of Holotapes to find a missing group of Knights, which had brought them to the eerie museum of Witchcraft north of Boston. They had found the basement door unlocked, and quietly entered, their suspicions confirmed from the screams on the holotape indicating a Deathclaw was held up in the building. They had stood in the doorway for a moment, listening to the thud of the beast's footsteps before deciding that, if given the chance, they should only take such a thing on as best equipped as possible. The whole thing had been ridiculous, for the measly hundred bottlecaps that paid for the one Deathclaw egg they had recovered from the fight, and for having trekked back to Sanctuary for power armor and return to the museum to finish what they had started. But they were lucky to leave with their lives. Even returning prepared, both in full power armor and heavy weaponry, they had both left badly injured, and had to leave the destroyed suits behind. It had been an encounter she never wished to relive again.  
This beast was massive, larger than the last, and resembled a mix between a T-Rex and a demon. Its name fit it better than any natural thing should. It was feet away from her, claws extended, ready to slash her to ribbons, when Hancock was beside it, firing his shotgun into its side to draw its attention. Natalie took this moment to un-sling her combat rifle and took aim at the soft underbelly and neck of the beast, which was starting to turn toward Hancock's attack. She unleashed rounds and the beast quickly snapped its head back to her, a furiously cruel face of a monster raging for blood charged at her again. It snarled and swiped, faster than she was able to dodge, and she felt the blow knock her back. It was a toying slash, and yet she felt the strange radiated air enter her suit, and cold.  
Somewhere searing pain was screaming at her, but her fear was the primary thing that took hold and she struggled to crawl backward as the beast flung its other arm out toward her. It did not miss, and she felt herself lifted from the ground with a force that knocked the wind out of her, she had dropped her rifle and was fumbling subconsciously for the .45 strapped to her free hip. The beast was holding her above its head, and pulling its other arm back in what looked like his final killing swipe, claws ready to thrust upward into her fleshy body. She was aiming at its head unsure whether she actually pulled the trigger when a flash of another figure came crashing down into the beast.  
Hancock, like the beast, had descended the hill in a flash of leaps and bounds, and in his last had launched himself in the air, using the downward slope of the hill to gain air as he jumped, aiming his feet on the shoulders of the beast and at the same time the barrel of his shotgun hitting the Deathclaw's temple, where the metal met the thick skin, the gun recoiled as he fired burst after burst directly into the demon's skull. The entire thing happened in seconds, in which time the beast had dropped Natalie. She landed hard on her ass and watched as Hancock rode the beast to the ground, constantly firing, and when his extended clip was dry he flipped the shotgun in a fluid motion to continuously bash in the monster's skull. The creature was dead before he had finished beating its gory face, and Nat was still sitting on the ground, unsure whether she was even breathing. He dropped his gun and ran to her, his hands met her shoulders and carried up to cradle her helmet.  
“Natalie!” He shook her gently. She could still feel the adrenaline pulsing through her, which was probably the only reason she could stand, and before she had fully straightened he was holding her tightly in his arms, squeezing her, and a sound came out of him that sounded like a sob.  
“Hancock..” she was able to breath. “Let's go.” She felt out of body, and was trembling, but walked away from the scene like a ghost, mechanically pushing up the hill. He hurried behind her. She was so shaken from the Deathclaw's grasp that she was unaware they were already at the top of the hill, outside the mouth of the cave. Her maternal instinct, and survival instinct were all she could feel, all she was right now. She managed to look back at Hancock, before entering the cave.  
It was a long, narrow tunnel, almost black, but a faint light reassured their direction forward, and the tunnel suddenly opened up to a small cavern, where Machine gun turrets sat ready to shred them. She ignored these and walked forward. The guns did not fire, but the cavern opened up further, and behind a mound of commercial metal shelves used partially as a barricade, was a cave that was adorned with furniture. She saw a bed in front of her and hardly noticed the figure standing to her left until a deep, baritone voice met her.  
“So, you have found me.” She turned to find a man, about seven feet tall, with sickly green skin dressed in torn clothing and spectacles staring at her. He held no weapon, and did not move. He did not let her speak, “I did not expect the Institute to find me so quickly, I thought I may rid myself from their grasp a bit longer, but yes, you are here, to kill me I presume?”  
Natalie stared at the beastly man, and realized that a Super Mutant was speaking coherently with her.  
“...Virgil?” She managed to say. Her body was fading, she felt dizzy, like she was in a dream.  
He stared back at her. “Or perhaps, you are not from the Institute?” Her question in his name had him deduce that they may not be a threat and continued, “Then, who are you? Why have you come here?”  
Natalie wasn't sure how to respond, but went on, “For answers. I need to get into the Institute, I need to stop them.”  
At this Virgil gave her a very stern, suspicious look. “I don't know for what purpose any man would attempt anything as impossible as that, but perhaps you are unaware of just how impossible that is. Whatever brought you here, to me, I can not help you. I barely got out myself, and it is only a matter of time before they find me and kill me. It is... unwise, to attempt such a thing.” He finished, staring her down as if she was not a sane person, but merely a nuisance.  
Natalie stood her ground. “I'm trying to get my son back, they kidnapped him, they stole my baby.”  
At this Virgil twitched and quickly answered, “Oh... I'm... I'm so sorry. I had.. no idea. Even so...”  
“I am going to get him back, no matter the cost. Can't you help me at all?” She pleaded. Her energy was draining from her.  
Virgil sighed, and looked her over more carefully, he was studying her suit, and the state of both her and Hancock now. He acknowledged the ghoul as well when he spoke, “We have much to discuss, and I see you have come a long way to find me. You are welcome to stay here, I have food, clean water, and supplies, and you look like you need rest.” He waved towards the bed, “Camp here for the night, and we can discuss matters in the morning.” He turned his back to them now, facing a table that was covered in high tech lab equipment, vials, and beakers. He was searching for something. Still with his back turned he said, “Your radiation suit is damaged, and I have no supplies here to repair it, but you won't make it out of the Glowing Sea like that.” With this he turned around, and was holding a sack. “I must ask a favor of you, if you are going to attempt this infiltration, you will need to make it out alive to do so. So firstly, I will go find materials for your suit. I must speak with the Children of Atom as well.” He was looking away , towards the tunnel leading out of the cave, glaring.  
“It is not your fault, that they hinted to where I was hiding, but without their information you would not have found me, and I would like to make sure that I remain hidden.” He finished, and was already heading towards the door. Natalie did not have any more words to say, and was already staring longingly at the bed only feet from her, lifting the helmet she had been stuck in off her head with an exhausted effort. Hancock spoke up now,  
“Thanks big guy, we're pretty beat.” He groaned, glancing toward Natalie now. Virgil nodded and without saying anything else, headed purposefully out of the cave.  
Hancock walked quietly over to where Nat was standing, looking worriedly at her now.  
“You ok?” he managed, nervously.  
“Thank you John. For everything. For saving me, and being with me...” She trailed off, ready to faint, and no sooner than he had her lifted into his arms did she do so. 

Flashes of dim lighting and an unfamiliar scene occasionally met her vision. She was in and out, and her vision blurry. 

“Hey Doll, I'm gonna need to get this suit off ya. Need to address those wounds.” She heard him, and struggled to focus, finally catching his face. Hancock was glancing down at her. He looked embarrassed, awkward. He was waiting for her permission. She nodded. Nat tried to sit up, he pulled her upright, and gently helped unzipped the front of her suit. She was too tired to care, and at least wore a tank top underneath, although it was light and drenched in sweat and probably blood. She flinched as he worked the suit over her torso and down past her hips. She felt cold and burning. Then she was out again.  
Somewhere in her subconscious she registered the familiar prick of a needle in her lower abdomen, she heard soothing words that she couldn't quite make out.


	4. Nuclear reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat and Hancock have finally found Virgil, and more importantly, each other, but Nat is also going to find something else out she hadn't planned on

She woke, feeling sore, but refreshed. She was parched and sat up looking for water and found Hancock sitting on the other side of the cave, turning a spit over a flame. A bottle of water was on a small table next to the bed, and she drained it quickly. Natalie pushed back a woolen blanket to see she was only in her undershirt and undies. There was bandaging across her ribs, where the Deathclaw had struck her. For the first time she registered the attack fully, and quickly recapped what had happened. She pulled back her bandage to see a gash made by four claws, tracing her ribs from her lower back almost to her belly button. There were stitches. She smiled knowingly. Because her companion was John Hancock, and he had no doubt helped sedate her comfortably, she was glad she had slept through that procedure.  
She reached for the pair of military pants left next to the bed, slipped them on, and started to stand shakily when Hancock looked over at her. He looked straight into her soul, waiting for her. When she didn't say anything he finally blinked and looked back down at the chunk of meat on the spit and said hesitantly,  
“Nothing tastes better than something that's tried to kill ya.” with a cautious laugh.  
She ignored this and looked him over, why was he acting so nervous? She thought back to the Deathclaw; he had gallantly leaped out of nowhere, like a knight in shining armor to save her from an otherwise inevitable, gory death. He should be strutting around, saying his usual cocky shit like “I saved your ass, lucky you got this ugly mug tagging along”, or something like that. Instead he was almost sheepish.  
“John, what's wrong?” She asked, searching his face.  
He looked up, hesitating on what to say, and finally came out with “You uh, that was a pretty close call out there..” Of course. He was probably upset she got herself into that mess, maybe he really was fed up with having to save her ass. She interrupted him, “I know, I am so sorry, you shouldn't always have to save me..” He had crossed the room and interrupted her this time, still moving toward her as he said, “I thought I was going to lose you Nat.”  
She processed his words as he sat down next to her, staring at her face, waiting for her to say something. Quietly she said, meeting his gaze, “You will never lose me, John Hancock.”  
Her hand found his cheek, and she inhaled with a start as her skin met his. She wanted to touch him, to be closer to him. He looked down now, unsure.  
“Come on Nat, you don't want to be stuck with a ghoul like me, you don't want to wake up to this ugly mug every morning...”  
She forced his gaze back to hers and cooed “I do, I've fallen for you.” His twilight eyes flashed from sadness, to surprise, to a longing and passionate stare and he was leaning into her face, and purred back, “I guess that works out for me then doesn't it?” With a slightly cocky grin that made her knees weak, he closed the gap between them. His hand was on the back of her head, clutching her hair tightly and his other hand on the small of her back, pulling her into him. They pushed their lips and bodies together tightly, feeling the passionate embrace of each others warmth and she took him in. Her hands were under his arms, clutching his shoulders, nails almost bearing down. She wanted him.  
Clearly the feeling was mutual, he was kissing her purposefully, the smooth, rugged edges of his lips parting, his tongue searching for hers. Their tongues met and intertwined, and she moaned as she felt his tongue delve deeper into her mouth, her body tingling. Her shoulders were bear for him to run his hand up her back, over her shoulder and slowly down her chest. Meanwhile she had pushed his coat off his shoulders and was working the buttons of his jacket as he cupped her breast in his larger hand. He pulled his lips away and quickly found a new spot to kiss, lightly at first, he mouthed her neck, just under and behind her ear. A breathy moan escaped her and she grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer.  
Then his fingers found the bottom of her shirt, and was lifting it above her head, then reached and unlatched her bra. The bareness made her blush, and he stopped to gaze at her, “Fuck you're gorgeous...” He pressed his mouth back to hers, re positioning one hand on the back of her neck, the other on her hip. She had undone the buttons on his shirt and her hand met his bare chest, running it slowly up and down, feeling the ridges on his damaged yet sexy body. He was radiating warmth and her urge to have him closer was making her body quiver. “John..” she whined. Simultaneously they leaned in the same direction, his hand on her hip moving lower to her inner thigh. He grasped her leg tightly and then stroked a few fingers up and down,lightly, against the sensitive skin on her inner leg, giving her time to object. Natalie answered by spreading her legs further, clutching him tightly around the shoulders, one hand still behind his neck, her eyes staring longingly into his.  
He breathed on her neck and still clutching her hair, finally moved his other hand between her legs. The touch electrified her, her whole body tingling and aching for him, and she pressed into his hand, breathing shallow breaths of excitement in his ear. He moved his hand to her zipper and pulled it down slowly, then with some force, the same hand yanked the pants down past her hips eagerly. She had lifted slightly to allow the pants to come free, and now she wore only panties, at which he was pushing his fingers through to feel the wet spot gathering between her legs. He sighed and pressed his whole body against hers, allowing her to feel his warmth and his hard erection against her leg. She bucked lightly into his hand and at the feeling of his shaft on her, and reached down to undo his belt buckle.  
As she fumbled, trying to pay attention to his belt, he tortured her, kissing her neck, nipping at her shoulder, while his smooth yet rough fingers moved up and down, rubbing the nub at the top of her sex. She begged for more with a moan and grinding into his hand, he obliged. He moved her panties to the side to touch her soft wet folds, and one finger lightly play with that sweet spot above her folds while another stroked gently just outside, then with a sudden push, his finger slid inside her. She writhed in pleasure and her hand gripped tighter around his neck, pulling herself up towards him to push her lips against his jawline. She shuddered and moaned, and he slowly pulled his finger out, then pushed in, and began to gain a rhythm with her gentle grinding around his finger. He slid another finger in and the ecstasy pushed her to moan louder; she could not form words but managed an “Oooh...” as her other hand weakly tried to work his pants down.  
The hand he had on her neck temporarily stopped cradling her head so he could pull his own pants down, and then his hard member was up against her, he did not wear underwear. She moaned louder and felt his unsheathed erection on her inner thigh and managed to squeal “Fuck.”, as her hand gripped his shaft. He was hard and his length prominent; touching him, she could not help but grip hard onto him. He groaned. He felt so good, and she began running her hand up and down his length, taking in the ridges on his hard cock now, feeling the wet tip that was eager to be inside her. She pulled her hand away to have both on his neck now, giving him the freedom to do as he pleased. His other hand had come back to gripping her hair tightly, slightly pulling, and now his hand left her sex and was slowly feeling her skin, moving his hand up to grip her waist tightly.  
His hips arched upward, and he met her gaze as his body pressed into hers, the tip of his member was now pressed against her entrance and time stood still. She was so wet for him, and his tip was dripping, he slowly rubbed his cock against her, on the outside, the chills were unbearable and she shook with desire. He slowly pushed the tip into her, sighing with pleasure as they started to become one. She grasped his back, urging him forward, and he pushed his entire length into her, filling her up. Her moan was even louder now, and she breathed heavily into his ear, gripping his neck tightly.  
“Natalie..” he grunted as his shaft pressed against her tight walls. She was burning for him and began to slide against his shaft; he, in soft fluid motions, slowly, tortuously pushed himself into her. He was buried deep inside her and his thrusts were shallow, but powerful.  
“Ohh, Hancock!” in a loud breathless moan she gripped him tighter, nails digging into his skin. He answered by pulling her hair and pushing a more forceful thrust into her. They were grinding with each other now, her squirming underneath; she couldn't get enough of the ecstasy his shaft was thrusting inside, and he, driven by her moans, thrust harder each time. She buried her face in his neck, breathing shallow, heavy breaths, and he was groaning in her ear now. Her legs were wrapped around him, and he wrapped both arms underneath and around her now, and in a fluid motion he had lifted her onto his lap, he was sitting up on the edge of the bed, and she on his lap. Nat wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her chest against his face as he kissed her breasts, and she began bucking wildly on him. She was panting and whining, able to ride the length of his shaft up and down, and a low deep growl from him vibrated on her chest. He was holding her, and watching her face as she was riding him, but he couldn't take it, and lifting her, cock still buried deep, he stood and took two steps to press her against the wall, still holding her.  
This time he was not as gentle, and she had to stand on one leg to support herself, the other still wrapped around him, one of his arms pinned both of hers above her head against the wall, the other tightly gripping her ass. As they landed against the wall he thrust as deep as he could inside her, and began ramming harder, faster. He kissed her neck in between deep, heavy breaths and growls. She was whimpering, almost crying now, in absolute pleasure. Every thrust sent a wave of ecstasy through her that was pushing her to climax. She begged with her moans and he delivered, After a few more thrusts she froze tightly against him, peaking her orgasm and moaning out “John. Fuuck, Hancock..  
She drawled out his name as she came, and he gripped her tighter as he felt her body lose control on his cock, and her wetness drip onto him even more. He stared deeply into her eyes as she came, she was flushed and her pupils dilated, he couldn't take much longer. He picked up her other leg, which she wrapped around him, and in minutes he could barely contain himself. She was moaning and whimpering louder again, and he could tell she was reaching her peak, she was begging with her eyes at him, and he pushed long, hard purposeful thrusts into her; he came as he jutted his shaft into her, filling her up, moaning her name as he did. She felt his warm fluid enter her and relished the feeling, squeezing tightly, absorbing his grasp on her and melting into his body. Their eyes were locked on each other, her chest was rising and falling, and he carried her back to the bed, still inside her. He laid her down, he on top, and couldn't help but thrust a few more times within her, also relishing her warmth and tightness around him.  
She did not want him to leave her. Hell, she didn't even want him to pull out. She wanted to stay right where they were forever, frozen in time.  
He slowly pulled his length out of her, staring intently into her eyes, “I'm in love with you Natalie.” he purred, starting to smirk.  
She felt her heart beating rapidly, her body was butter, she was hot and out of breath. She was in love with him too, there was no doubt about it. “I love you too John Hancock” she cooed, not breaking his gaze.  
Nothing else seemed to matter when she was with him; of course things mattered, but they didn't worry her. He made her feel safe, loved. He had a look in his eye that told her everything would be all right, it made her feel so at ease. His confident gaze was all she needed, all she ever needed. They lay together, bodies intertwined in peaceful bliss for some time.  
Hancock was laying on the bed, a cigarette burning between his fingers as he exhaled slowly, the smoke from his mouth trailing straight upwards, climbing to the roof of the cave. Natalie had her head pressed into his chest and a leg draped over his. She mused in a smoky voice “What do you think Virgil will say to the Children of Atom?”  
He had a contemplative tone, “If I were him, I'd probably break a few teeth from the mouth that let slip out my whereabouts.” He said it in an amused tone, but at Natalie's firm glance explained,”It's a double edged sword doll, of course if they hadn'ta said anything we'd probably still be lookin'. I'm just sayin' if I were him.”  
She considered it fair, if not a little brutal. The people seemed crazy, but not dangerous. She knew she still had a lot to learn though, and resigned that decision to Virgil. She wondered what time it was, and how long the ex-Institute scientist had been gone for.  
“He's coming back right?” She started. Realizing as she said it how possible it could be that he'd never return, that in them finding his hiding place he had relinquished it and was at least a day ahead of them in any direction. He also had the added benefit of surviving in the Glowing Sea's intense radiation, and if they lost him now, they may never find him again.  
Hancock's arm underneath her shoulders squeezed her closer to him. “Of course he is doll. I got a pretty good eye for the look on a man when he's thinkin' of running. The Big Guy didn't have that look.”  
Natalie nodded. She began lightly stroking the ridges of damaged skin on his chest, tracing the grooves and smooth edges. He had tensed for a moment, and relaxed again, placing his lips against her forehead. She soaked it in. She had wanted this, from the first day he looked at her she had felt something.  
“Thanks for patching me up, again.” She moaned, feeling the ache in her side. Their romp probably wasn't the best thing for the stitches, but they had been so caught up in the moment. Completely worth it, she smiled.  
“Yeah, about that...” Hancock grumbled, losing his words before he began.  
Natalie turned to face him, his eyes were on the ceiling, and the ash from his cigarette was longer than what was left of the tobacco. The ash fell on the bed, he didn't notice.  
“What about it?” She asked, curious. He was probably still upset about the whole event, would probably grill her out about being more careful, she thought.  
He was still caught in a thought that he couldn't put into words, and finally said, “I uh....”, snapping back to her attention he gazed at her and smiled, “Look, it's nothing, you got a lot on your plate right now, we can talk about it another time....”  
“John? What is it? Please just tell me.” Nat couldn't stand not knowing, no matter what, and especially when he left her with so little to go on.  
He was hesitating; it looked like he was struggling for the words, and when he found them he would swallow them again. She started to grow nervous, and nudged him, “Please.” Her eyes were staring deeply into his, begging not to be left in the dark, especially after professing their love to one another, she felt it even more important to be open, to be honest.  
He sighed, and finally started awkwardly, “Natalie, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I don't want you to think any different, of anything. If it were up to me, hell I'd never tell you. But it's not fair, to either of us I guess. I can't just walk around forever not telling you, now that I know.” He sucked in and tried to chuckle, but it was strained, and only made her tense up, a pit growing in her stomach. “Nat, you're uh...you're a synth.”


	5. Haze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short one.. Nat seeks familiarity dealing with new information, Hancock returns to Goodneighbor...

"That's not funny." Her voice was dry and suddenly ragged.  
Hancock's eyes were staring into hers, searching for understanding with a worried crease. He didn't say anything, letting her process the new reality. When he didn't respond and the corners of his mouth remained neutral, Natalie looked blankly at the floor and quietly breathed, "That's not possible..." she was lost. The reality hadn't hit her, but Hancock's response proved she had to grasp for the reality he was trying to explain.  
She was sitting on the edge of the bed, suddenly too aware of her body and every functioning aspect of it.  
"How?" She rasped, trying to gain bearing, and it being more rhetorical , she left the question unanswered as she fumbled for the bandages on her side.  
"What are ya... Nat come on!" He tried to stop her but she had already ripped the bandages off and grabbed a knife from the table to flick open the meticulously applied stitches as he tried to hold her working arm back from its irrational motions. She shoved away from him and stood up, keeping her back to him, shutting him away from her in a moment of desperation. Time had frozen again as the growing nausea in her stomach became her only feeling and she was aware of nothing else other than prying back her flesh that was already torn and shredded along her ribcage.  
She stood there for hours, it felt like, as she processed her insides that were newly exposed. Her skin was red and raw, and blood lined the layers, but not as much as there naturally should be. Her ribs were silver. She stared wordlessly at them. There was no muscle, and under the layers of her torn skin was a pliable, resistant mesh that when she pinched, tensed and rippled like fibrous muscle tissue. Through her ribs she saw tightly wound and coiled wires, thin pipes and containers of machinery. As she stared, she became aware that she couldn't feel anything.  
Hancock sat quietly behind her, allowing her time to take in her body. He braced for her reaction but none came. Time passed and finally she turned to face him with a look of fury.  
"Why didn't you say anything?" She hissed, eyes narrowed as she searched his face.

"Nat I did, I just didn't knock how to say it.." he started gently, but she cut him off, "just figured we'd fuck first and figure the rest out later?" She shot at him. As soon as she said it she knew it was hurtful, and only a projection of her confusion and coping, but it made her ashamed as his look saddened.  
"Sorry, I just don't know what to think right now, if I should feel differently, if I'm even Natalie...Shaun..." She was becoming incoherent, and suddenly felt the urge to run and disappear.  
He stood up and did not break his gaze, though her eyes darted frantically around the cave.. "Look, I know it brings up a lot of unanswered questions, but we can figure this out. You're still you, you're still Nat, my Nat." He reached for her hand, which was limp but shaking.  
They stood in silence for a few minutes, but Natalie finally shook her head and quietly said, "You should go back to Goodneighbor."  
"No, think I'll stay here sunshine." He half chuckled as his arm wrapped around her shoulder.  
"I don't even know what we're doing here now, what we're looking for..."  
"Answers, doll. And don't you go gettin all existential on me now, you ran with Valentine long enough, you ever thought different of him? Ain't nothin less human about ya, we just need to get the rest of your story." He was embracing her now, she remained silent, empty, hollow.  
Somewhere deep inside her mind she knew he was right, she couldn't be a hypocrite, not after working so hard to convince Nick that he was a person, despite his doubts and lamenting. It just left her with the loss of her life. She had been running through her memories, she remembered her parents, her childhood, the very painful and very real birth of her son following a very long, very real pregnancy. There were no gaps, other than the cryo tube she had been frozen for over two centuries in.  
Ok, that's a big enough gap, she thought to herself. Anything was possible at this point, and she felt helpless. She needed a detective, she needed Nick. But she needed to talk to Virgil too.  
She repeated herself, "You should go back to Goodneighbor.."  
"Ain't happening." Was his gruff, brash response.  
"No, John, Valentine's there, he's chasing cases..."  
Hancock was quiet but she felt his nod against her shoulder.  
"Don't much like the idea of leavin ya here."  
"I need Nick ." Was all she could manage. He pulled away now, sadness in his eyes."You uh, you gonna be alright?" They were both suddenly very aware of the distance between them. She didn't have the strength to answer, she could barely move.  
Finally she said "I'm just going to need some time." He recognized the pain in her voice, but didn't know what else to say.

 

***

He left that night, and Nat stood at the cave entrance silently, watching him disappear into the green fog of No man's land, and she could have sworn she felt a big chunk of her synthetic heart break off and disappear with him. She was left with a crushing, almost suffocating weight, and the wind of the glowing sea lapped at the bare skin she left exposed.


	6. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little background on Natalie and Nick, and her time with MacCready, very canon

Nick's astute yellow eyes were staring at the wall, lost in deep thought as a metal claw and a mock human hand deftly rolled a cigarette. The wall however, was not there, instead he saw a woman with shoulder length auburn hair in light curls, bare shoulders and a dark blue dress that clung to her curves and stopped at her knees. She was leaning against a fence, and a hazy, starry backdrop fell behind her. She was radiant and yet her eyes were sad. He could not get that damn look out of his head.

He was sitting in Dr. Amari's office, who he was still waiting on presently. He lit the cigarette and let the smoke drive away his vision and thoughts as adjusted his tie. He shifted his thoughts back to the man he was searching for, and his general line of work that gave him an excuse to pull all- nighters. And still...  
It had been over a month since he last saw her. Couldn't have gone much worse either, he thought, angry at himself. Poor girl.

It started here, in Amari's office. Their goodbyes. Nick hadn't hesitated when the doctor suggested a way to link into Kellog's memories. But when the two came out, Nick had felt dizzy, and asked Amari to stall Natalie until he came to. He couldn't let her see how much it had taken out of him. He was still sitting in the chair, shaking the odd feelings out when Nat had woken, and her immediate look of remorse when she saw him reassured his worries. He had straightened up to reassure her, “I'm fine, we got what we needed, now about the glowing sea...”  
Thee three of them discussed options and Nat had resigned that it would take some time and planning. As they were leaving, however, she had put her hand on his shoulder....”You're sure you're alright?”

Then black. And voices. Kellog's. He was threatening her. 

He regained focus and was still looking at Nat, but her face was much different. It was a cool look, hesitant. “What the hell was that?”  
“What?” He mirrored, he had hoped it was just some kind of ghost memory of Kellog's still reverberating in his mind, but now he wasn't sure.  
“You just... Kellog... you were talking like Kellog, his voice...” she said suspiciously, eyeing him like he wasn't himself, like he wasn't... human. 

“Probably just some memory lagg resonance, look I'm fine, ready to hit the road or what?” He had tried to regain his ground, irritated that she might be questioning his trust and hurt that it could be even more than that. 

“I don't know, Nick. I'm not sure...” She was fighting herself too, he could see. She didn't want to be so nervous, but he did just take on Kellog's persona, fully warning her that he would kill her at any point, so he couldn't blame her for thinking he might be unstable. But he felt fine now. Just, not very human.

“Look, I get it, you take some time to cool off, think it over, you know where to find me.” He sat down on the couch by the door and began rolling a cigarette. She stood there for a moment, and then she was gone. 

 

 

He left some time after she had, expecting her to have gone back home to Sanctuary. He went down to the Third Rail to get some intel from White Chapel about local happenings, and was sitting on the far end of the bar, smoking his cigarette when he saw her from the corner of his eyes. She was walking out of the VIP room with MacCready. 

“Son of a...” He began to stand up, his chivalrous manner getting the best of him. That kid was no good in his book, he ran with gunners, had a smart mouth and a never ending greed. What she was doing with him was questionable, and Nick had a right mind to let her know, and give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't know the crowd the kid ran with.  
“I'd think twice about that chap, The Mayor won't be avin' any messes in his establishment and you know bloody well he wouldn't let that sort in here less they were fine with his sort.” The Mr. Handy was cleaning a glass and had one lens fixed on Nick, another on MacCready.

Nat hadn't noticed Nick, and hadn't seen him sit back down as the synth watched the two leave up the stairs, out of the Third Rail. “Since when has that boy been trustworthy?” Nick eyed the bartender suspiciously.  
“Since he's been lookin for honest work and a roof o'er his head without Gunners beneath it. Sa'll you need to know, and frankly I've had enough questions for the day unless you plan on actually havin a drink.” The Detective knew he had other work to do, and could probably find some if he stayed long enough with a drink in hand, but left some caps on the counter for Charlie's “trouble” and left. 

****

 

Nick settled in at the Rexford for the night, not really wanting to go back to Diamond City, and still hoping that Natalie would change her mind by the time she got back to Sanctuary. But he was doubtful. The word was that she had hired MacCready on as her new gun, and the two were heading East on some supply runs. He hoped she realized the kid was useless and would dump him soon enough. Until then he'd scrounge up some work and information, and slowly make his way to Sanctuary. What was the point anyway? It's not like she wanted him behind her, a possible loose cannon, and it's not like she wanted him in any other way than just a gunman. 

 

Natalie felt out of her own skin. She hated leaving her friend and partner behind. But how could she not? His programming might be compromised, the Institute technology intertwined with Kellog's soulless personality may have directly affected Nick, like some kind of virus. She just couldn't be sure, and she couldn't take the risk, she couldn't shake the idea of something taking control of the detective and him shooting her in the back. She knew he'd never let himself go on that one, he'd never forgive himself, and the situation was far too messy to continue on like they had been. Not until she was sure. She didn't know how to be sure, but was willing to take some time and check back on him...  
She had just gone into the Third Rail for a drink, and was walking into the back room with a glass of whiskey, ready to mull over the problem with a cigarette, alone with her thoughts, when she walked in on a group of men in a heated discussion. The two with their backs to her were large, burly, and dark. They smelled like raiders, and looked like them, and were hassling the smaller man facing her direction as such. It was something about money, and the threats were heavy, one of them finishing with “or you're dead MacCready.”  
Natalie said nothing, and casually entered the room, not fully glancing in their direction, minding her business. The smaller man in a duster mouthed back to them, shooing them off, and quickly glared in her direction as the two men took their leave. Neither looked at her, and she met MacCready's glance with a half smirk.  
“What was that about?” She asked casually, sizing him up.  
“None of your business that's what.” The young man snapped at her, then stopped, taking notice of the sidearm strapped to her leg, the rifle across her back, and the combat armor plating she wore. “And unless you're lookin' for my business I want none of yours.”  
“And what is your business exactly?” Natalie went on. Something in her was stirred up when she saw the two harassing him, and she felt a need to protect, and also to get to know this MacCready. 

“MacCready, gun for hire.” At this he made a mock salute, the entirety of his voice carrying a sarcasm she could tell was deeply ingrained. “Two hundred caps, up front. I'm a surgeon with a rifle, you need protection, I'm your guy.”  
The sales pitch was weak, and she could care less for protection, as far as she was concerned it was the other way around. The way those two had been throwing their weight around made her think that this MacCready had a pretty large target on his back. Maybe she'd been around the detective synth too long, but any kind of shit going on had her name on it to take the responsibility.

“You got yourself a deal, MacCready.” Natalie reached her hand out of habit for a firm handshake to seal the deal, but he met hers with an open palm. 

This guy is going is going to be work, she thought, and with that they left.

 

The next few days were miserable for both of them. He was nosy when she didn't want him to be and vice versa. The mercenary had an opinion on everything, most opinions were not hers, and she was tired of hearing them. He was mouthy and full of himself, and more than half the time she tried to think of ways she could ditch him without feeling guilty. But something told Natalie that he wasn't really being himself, that he was putting on a tough guy act and that he actually needed her. She wasn't quite sure though, and the two spent the first few days completely out of sync. She missed Nick.  
They were walking past an old hospital, on their way to Diamond City, when his rifle fired a hundred feet behind her. She whipped her head around to glare at him before bringing up her .44. She had been sneaking quietly past what once was a parking lot, with chain link fence and assorted rubble of cars and cement providing fairly good cover from shambling ferals. There was no need to go in there, and it was a waste of bullets to take the ferals out when the two could just walk around. Maybe he was just bored. Whatever reason he had fired, he would get an earful once the two finished taking out the oncoming hoard.  
It was a rough fight, and Natalie was unprepared, her helmet strapped to her back, she had rushed forward to take on the screaming, shriveled up creatures half startled herself, and was only able to take out one before another coming in from her left that she hadn't seen had extended it's leathery arm to strike a blow to her neck. She was kicking them back, trying to dodge and heard his rifle go off in three smooth shots. One was still coming at her and she finished it with a knife, falling backwards as it had rushed her.  
“What the hell are you doing?” The mouthy ex gunner hollered as he came towards her and as she started to get up.  
“Excuse me?” She answered, hot blooded. This kid was two seconds from her fist taking over the conversation.  
“Why didn't you stay back! I had them!” He shouted back.  
Natalie straightened, stared him down, and studied him for a moment before speaking. What was he thinking...  
“You want to tell me what's going on MacCready?” She waited, but the stubborn kid had already turned his back to her, walking away.  
“Nah, forget it.” 

It was the kind of fight, if it could be called that, which resulted in nothing but an uneven air. The two barely knew each other, and yet there was a strange feeling between them, that was personal, and the imbalance from their brief conversations left an odd feeling hanging in the air. It was like some kind of purgatory where they were just waiting to resolve whatever issue lay just beneath the surface. But Natalie couldn't get a read on him. He was up tight at the wrong time, and his morals were questionable. He seemed irritated when she offered help to others, and even more so when she asked for nothing in return. He made snide comments referring to how he was going to get paid, and became increasingly more opinionated on every choice she made. It was a very long week.  
Then something strange happened. They had just broken out a consort for Bobbi in Diamond City, something that left a pit in Nat's stomach and a grin on MacCready's face, when Piper approached the two of them.  
“Hey Blue, any luck finding your kid?” Piper's usual hardened, quick witted voice had an edge of empathy, a softness not usually seen by most, and it made Natalie loosen up. She didn't realize how on edge she'd been with the seemingly selfish ex gunner.  
“Nick and I have a lead, not a great one, but... we're working on it.” Natalie answered, sadly, for more reasons than one.  
“Well if there's anything I can do to help, you let me know.” The reporter answered, her hand on Nat's shoulder for support.  
“Thanks Piper, we should get going.” She nodded, indicating that her and MacCready were a team, however weak a team they had made so far.  
Piper glared at MacCready. “Uh-huh. You keep your eye sharp, this girl does more good for the Commonwealth than you know.” She nipped at MacCready. He played it off, but when the two had left the city, his whole tune had changed. 

“I didn't know you had a kid.” He had started, trying to sound more friendly than usual.  
Natalie opened up, “Yes, his name is Shaun. He was taken from me as a baby, when I was in the vault. I was frozen, and I don't know how old he is now, he might be ten...” She had started to veer off as if thinking to herself so MacCready interjected.  
“Shi-oot. I'm sorry, I had no idea.” was all he could manage, it felt like it had been a long time since he had tried to be nice to someone, and he was having a hard time coming up with the words.  
“Thank you.” She gracefully accepted, and decided to take his kindness as invitation, “You know you can curse around me, I'm not offended.” 

MacCready chuckled, and started in, “It's not that, it's just that, I made a promise to someone...”

 

Finally, the mercenary had opened up to her, and his picture was a lot clearer to her now. She was relieved to know that her gut feeling had been right, that she had seen more to him than just a mouthy gun for hire, and she was more than happy to help him. The front of the hospital was littered with corpses of ferals from their encounter the week before, but the inside was another matter. It was no wonder he was unable to get through the building alone, and what they were after was far too valuable to trust just anyone to watch thier back when hacking the Med Tech security system. It took a couple of hours, and Natalie cleared the building in full tactical style, searching every possible crevice a feral could stow away in. The building was huge and eerie, and the lab was highly irradiated. She was twitchy and nervous by the time her fingers wrapped around the vial, and they had both seen enough ghouls for the day by the end of it. When they finally bust through the front doors they had come in through, they breathed the daylight air as if they had been underwater for too long.  
The two were heaving, catching breath and smiling, MacCready was practically beaming at her.  
“I can't believe it, we did it! You did it! This is going to save Duncan, you've saved my son!” His tone was honest and grateful, and it warmed her heart.

 

He was still MacCready, but she understood him better, and it made him easier to be around. Their encounter in Goodneighbor ended with a friendship that she hadn't expected, and after securing Duncan's medicine with Daisy, MaCCready agreed to help Natalie look into Bobbi's sketchy dig site. Bobbi had led them through tunnels beneath the Commonwealth on a wild chase that Natalie was more interested in sniffing out than actually believing it was any kind of honest treasure hunt. The whole thing smelled suspicious from day one, and Natalie had taken the role on as a detective, only to get to the truth of what Bobbi was after. When the four of them ended up in the middle of the mayor's warehouse, staring down the barrel of his right hand's machine gun, Natalie calmly turned to Bobbi's rogue offer.  
“It's better if you just surrender Bobbi, we're not going to fight, and it's no good running.” was her answer when the ghoul had suggested they fight the mayor's men and take the loot. Bobbi did not take kindly to the offer, and made off back into the tunnels, gun raised in warning.  
The redhead with a mini gun standing before them nodded,“Wise choice.” Her name was Fahrenheit, as Nat learned soon enough, and she was cold, calculating, quick witted and viscous. Her hair was shaved on one side of her head, and despite her small frame, she looked menacing standing on her perch above Natalie. The ruthless demeanor was also that of a loyal guard dog, and Natalie's curiosity in the mayor of Goodneigbor was peaked.  
“If you're done trying to raid the mayor's warehouses with thugs like No-nose, the mayor would like to see you.” It wasn't a menacing tone, but a fair invitation, perhaps the Mayor's curiosity in her had been peaked as well. Natalie nodded in understanding, and turned towards MacCready.  
“I'll go sort this out with Hancock, but I think it would be better if you try to find Bobbi.”  
MacCready understood, but wasn't happy with the prospect, he didn't want to admit it, but he had grown an affinity for the Vault girl, and didn't want to split up just yet. “ Yeah, you uh, gonna come back for me?” He answered rhetorically, as she had already directed her attention towards leaving the warehouse and meeting with Hancock.  
“I'll need to go to Sanctuary after this is over, meet me there.” She hadn't intended to be so commanding, but despite him returning the two hundred caps she had paid to hire him on, he considered her boss now, and left without question on her order. 

 

The statehouse had an intimidation factor, with its spiral staircase heavily accented with Neighborhood watchmen toting automatic rifles strapped on, staring her down. One stepped in front of her in greeting, and growled, “Boss is this way.”, indicating her to follow. She climbed the stairs with him, wondering what to expect. It seemed that it may be confrontational, with the greeting she met, and thinking back briefly on her first and only encounter with the Mayor of Goodneighbor. The large doors opened up into a large room at the top floor, and she noticed Fahrenheit stand up from a couch in the center of the room, a table between the two couches littered with drugs and paraphernalia, and the Mayor himself leaning against a desk on the opposite side of the room from her, staring lazily. Natalie nodded at Fahrenheit, who nodded back, then turned away as if she was already bored with whatever was about to happen.  
He still wore his red coat, a tattered flag around his waste, and a captain's tricorn hat. His black eyes met hers, and he began, “I appreciate you not raiding my stores, but you wanna explain to me what exactly you were doin?”  
Natalie was not shaken in the least, she did not feel intimidated, or threatened; for some reason she knew her voice would be heard here, not overlooked. He gave off the kind understanding of wanting to see the whole picture, and it made her feel at ease.  
“I'm sorry for causing the disruption, Bobbi roped me into a job that didn't smell right from the start, and I wanted to see where it led.” It was all she felt she needed to say. He nodded, “She'll trick anyone into a job if the caps are right, so, would you have gone through with it if Fahr hadn't been there to stop it?” He motioned towards his right hand, who had now cocked her head back to catch Natalie's reply.  
“I didn't plan on going through with anything, but Bobbi told us she was digging under Diamond City, which was obviously questionable, but I had no reason to go against you or Goodneighbor. She tricked us, and I already have someone after her.” Natalie was firm, business oriented, and serious, so the ghoul's chuckle threw her off.  
“Yeah that bitch'll pay, eventually, if someone ever catches her. We can put this behind us, as long as I know you didn't have the wrong intentions.”  
Natalie looked thrown off, offended. “If I wanted what you had Mayor, it would take more than a few guns to stop me.” She didn't mean to sound so rough, and she caught a corresponding look from Fahrenheit, but only made the ghoul smile.  
“Yeah, you been handlin' yourself alright from what I hear. Kinda makes me miss bein' out there. Acutally, I could stand to stretch my legs a bit. If you don't mind me tagging along I could use a walk.”He offered casually. His voice was gruff and smooth at the same time, and he handled himself with an ease that only made her more curious. She hadn't expected the offer, and was equally interested.  
“Well, I don't have anyone traveling with me right now, if you'd like to come along, I need to go Sanctuary hills, and have a few stops to make on the way. What about your Mayoral duties? “She suggested openly.  
“Give me some time to make the arrangements and inform my people, but they can pretty much handle themselves and Fahr can handle the rest.” He stated, and turned towards the doors of what she assumed was the balcony. This should be interesting, she thought, as she watched the man of power address Goodneighbor. 

 

The trip to Sanctuary with John Hancock was exciting, full of surprise, and almost like a nonstop party. He was nothing like MacCready, that she could really tell, but reminded her of Nick, but much rougher around the edges, much rougher. He made comments that threw her off guard, and treated people with a respect and compassion that she hadn't expected. He was a very interesting man. The first day she learned that he had an affinity for drugs, and for sharing. At first she was hesitant, but he gave off a reassurance and an enjoyable attitude, it was hard to resist his offers. He was easy enough to get along with, and she felt relaxed. There was no hesitation when she shot a raider in the face, and sometimes, if the enemy really had it coming, he'd give a throaty laugh- full of gravel and and little cruel-, but he had a black and white sense of justice, which Natalie was beginning to find was very in sync with her own.  
The two of them were searching for ammo, stepping over bodies in the carcass of an old Victorian house, and Natalie had felt a little guilty for shooting first. Of course the raiders deserved it; the settlers from the nearby town had asked her and Hancock specifically to rid them of the trouble after they had been repeatedly attacked and robbed by the group of bandits, but Nat was still adjusting to the moral compass of the Commonwealth.  
“It's simple,” Hancock stated, “If people need helping, we help them, if people need killing, we kill them.” She smiled back at him. She couldn't agree more. 

 

When they arrived in Sanctuary, Natalie directed Hancock towards the “Tree”, which had become the watering hole and the overall main area to go for anything other than sleep. She and Preston had overseen the construction when they claimed Sanctuary, and it had taken weeks for building to be complete. It consisted of a massive tree in the courtyard to the North of Sanctuary Hills, with three levels. The first was the bar, which was overseen by the vault tech representative she found in Goodneigbor, and cafe tables lined along the railing, a pool table on the other end of the patio, and a few couches and chairs around the radio playing Jerry Lewis on Diamond City Radio. She loved this little open tavern, and so did all of the settlers. She liked to think it compared to the Third Rail nicely, the only thing it was missing was a singer in a sequin dress.  
The second level served as a place for trade and generally as a hub for congregating. There wasn't much activity here other than trade, and typically was found empty. The third level was the most important to Preston and Natalie at the time they built it, and was initially designed to serve as headquarters, a main lookout tower, and place of refuge if the settlement was ever under attack. There were machine gun turrets mounted at each corner, armored walls and balconies for vantage points, and a few sleeping bags and mattresses scattered towards the center. This was the Nest, and it was barren as it had been from the first day construction was finished. By the time the settlers had finished building of the Tree, a gated perimeter with guard posts and other towers had been reinforced among the settlement. This left the Nest as Natalie's headquarters, and she would sometimes fall asleep up here after a long night gazing out over the balcony into the Commonwealth.

Natalie had a lot on her mind, and told Hancock she would meet up with him soon, once she attended to Minutemen business and the like. The truth was that she was feeling overwhelmed. She hadn't seen Nick in weeks, had told MacCready to meet her back here, and she wasn't any closer to finding her son. Meanwhile she had left her duties as General unattended and wasn't quite sure where to start. She found Dogmeat wandering in the field behind her house, and greeted him first. She was met with a tail wag and a whine that told her she had been gone for too long. “I know boy, I missed you too.” She held her hand out to let him lick as a sign of affection, and went off to find Preston.  
He assured her everything in Sanctuary had been going well, and recapped their successes in gaining allies around the Commonwealth. The town was growing, and crops were seemingly bursting from every grassy section she could see. “You seem to be making a few allies of your own, General.” Preston commented, indicating with his jaw toward the Tree. “MacCready?” She asked, hoping he hadn't left such a terrible impression with Garvey as he had when they first met. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head, “No, that kid's been harassing the super mutant you insisted on staying here, they're out back last I saw of them.” His mannerisms indicated everything he felt about both parties, Natalie felt a pang of responsibility for her rough- around -the-edges acquaintances, but he continued, “I meant the detective, he's been at the bar the past few days, hasn't said much though, but he's been waiting for you.”  
Her heart skipped a beat, and she caught herself noting that was a strange reaction to the thought of Nick. “Oh, ok, thank you Preston.” She left him guessing as to what business she had with the synth, and made for her post war house.  
She had chosen the yellow house across from her pre war home. She had spent her first night in the Commonwealth here. It was familiar enough that she was able to shut her eyes, but not as familiar as the ghosts the rooms in her old house seemed to hold. The next day she realized there was a workshop that she could expand on, and spent a week just sorting through supplies and junk, busying herself in the shop. By the time she had met Preston, this yellow house had become her new home, which now was fully furnished and primarily the center of the new settlement. The minutmen had expanded the settlement outwards from her house, so there was still a lot of activity around it, which she didn't mind. Behind it was a garden, and behind that was another hub they had built into a tower, which housed a shooting range. Strong seemed to spend most of his time here; when she had asked him if he was willing to guard the settlement, he agreed, thinking he would see more action, but one Super mutant attack on the town was all he had seen, and nothing had been willing to come back since. He mostly complained that there wasn't enough fighting, and seemed to compensate his boredom tormenting the settlers by the shooting range.  
She found MacCready in turn, tormenting the giant green humanoid, and the two were in some sort of argument over a pipe rifle. Apparently MacCready thought it would be better with a new stock and scope, and Strong was convinced he could beat MacCready to death with it.  
“I'd like to see you try big guy!” was the taunting statement she walked up on, and she couldn't help but laugh.  
“I think you're both more than capable, actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.” She directed her attention towards the mercenary, who had now yanked the rifle from Strong, who was strongly considering smashing him judging by the look on his face.  
“I know it's kinda quiet here, but if you don't mind I could use your help protecting Sanctuary, at least for a little while.” She wasn't sure if he'd go for it, but she thought this would be the safest place to keep him from Gunners for now.  
“As long as I have a steady flow of caps to send back to Duncan, til I know he's on the mend.” He answered.  
“Absolutely, and when he gets better you're both more than welcome here.” She answered and she meant it, she hoped he would consider her offer, and turned to leave before he could argue her suggestion. 

Maybe it was a long shot, but she liked to think that MacCready and his son could be part of the community she was trying to build here. She hoped that when she found Shaun she had a home to bring him to, where there was enough protection and enough people to give him the best opportunity she could provide in the wasteland that they had been thrown into through time.  
Natalie stopped and turned around, remembering that she had sent him after No-nose. "Any luck finding Bobbi?" She asked McCready. "Nah, I lost her in the tunnels, she'll turn up in a few weeks, always does." Was his answer. She nodded and left the two new Sanctuary Guards where she found them. Now to see Nick. The thought made her stomach turn. She had been avoiding him for weeks. She was afraid to look into those piercing yellow eyes that she always caught staring at her. She was afraid that because of her- his selfless act to help her find her son-, he wasn't going to be the same, that part of his mind didn't belong to him anymore, that he might actually be a threat. A pain in her chest swelled every time she thought of it, because in the time they had been together, she had grown attached to him.


	7. Little blue dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short, just wrapping up Nat and Nick before coming back to the present storyline!

When they first met, she had been on a rescue mission to find him, and at first she heard his voice. It was smart and eloquent and reminded her of home. The very first time he spoke through that intercom she felt that she already knew that voice. Then the door opened, and those yellow eyes met hers. He wore an expression of calm, of straight down to business, an unapologetic look. From first glance she knew that he was a synth, but the first thing she recognized was all human. It was as if he was just a human in a synth body, much unlike all the other mindless drones of the institute she had come across.  
He had greeted her so matter of factly, and hadn't bother with introductions, the two fought their way out of the vault overrun with gangsters and only then, standing in the fresh air of dusk outside the vault had he properly instigated introductions. She had explained her need of a detective, and they arranged to meet again at his office.  
The second time they met, she was convinced she had walked into a cliche detective novel, complete with the neon sign at the end of the street leading to his smoke filled office. She had been wearing a light cotton dress on account of the heat and the new tear in her vault suit that was being mended, and she felt very exposed as his piercing yellow eyes took note of her responses to his questioning. He had a way of trying to avoid eye contact, as if he knew how piercing his eyes were, and it was then that he took on an apologetic glance. She had re-hatched the gruesome details of her husbands' murder and her sons' kidnapping and had tried to keep her voice even and calm, but Nick had noticed, and she caught his eyes dart from hers quickly to his desk when her voice cracked ever so slightly.  
He led her to Kellog's house above the bleachers of Diamond City, and by the time they found a scent trail for Dogmeat to follow, Nick had suggested tagging along. From there he began to gain an affinity towards Natalie, and she him. There was something about the way his eyes lit up when she cracked a code on an old computer system, or the way she offered to help others despite her desperation in the search of her son. Every time he nodded in approval, she seemed to be getting a sense of the depth of his compassion. To Natalie, Nick seemed more human than most, and she couldn't help her growing affection towards that.  
But there was something more, growing inside her. She first noticed it when they stepped into the elevator of Vault 81. She had just told the guards upon entrance of the vault, upon their questioning of bringing a synth inside, that if they had a problem with it, they had a problem with her. She was standing in front of him in the elevator, with her back to him, and she felt his eyes on her. She turned to meet him with a smile, but caught his look of admiration and something more. It was a private moment for him apparently, because as soon as she turned he averted his eyes quickly. It was a boyish innocence, and seemed so out of place. It reminded her of her time, and the sense of naivety combined with his trying to be chivalrous caught her off guard. It had made her heart leap.  
It was easier to spot, now that she had spotted it. She caught his averted glances more often now, as if he had caught her stepping out of the shower. He was bashful. She could laugh, if she wasn't quite so surprised by it all. She hadn't been sure where Nick was at on the fully human scale, but once she began noticing his glances, she confirmed that he was indeed, all human. The glances weren't all she noticed. He was a new world kind of chivalrous. He let her lead in battle, treating her as an equal, but at the same time would step out of the way to let her go through a door, and even pulled out a chair for her when she went to take a drink after a fight.  
But it was his piercing eyes, that were beginning to take a hold of her. Sometimes when she caught his glance, he was given no choice but to stare back at her, and she would catch herself in those yellow eyes, and when they finally darted away in sheer embarrassment, she realized she hadn't been breathing, locked in his gaze. And then he had offered to go into Amari's machine to find Shaun. Not offered, he just said he would, he didn't give her time to argue, to say no. It was the kindest, most selfless thing anyone had ever done, and she hadn't even thanked him. 

 

 

“I ditched him.” She signed as she thought out loud, pacing in her room. She reached again for the bottle of vodka she left open on her dresser. The two had become well acquainted as she decided what to say and what to wear. It was silly, but she didn't feel like walking into the tavern in her vault suit and armor. So she pulled out a dress. It was dark blue. 

She finally gained the courage to head to the tavern. It was ten o clock, and everyone in town was probably congregating there by now. The lights in town glowed softly, and the lights from the Tree were bright, music and voices echoed warmly in the cool breeze. She stepped out onto the patio, rolling her eyes at the thought of her dress. But he would see the humor in it. She sauntered towards the tree, the music and voices growing louder, the lights brighter. “Hey Nat! Finally joinin the party? Come on have a drink!” She was greeted by friends gathered around the bar, and noticed Hancock merrily drinking among them. She accepted the drink with a smile and took a few minutes to spend with those who had come to greet her. “I'm going to head upstairs for a bit.” She noted, grabbing a cigarette after glancing around, not noticing Nick anywhere.  
She climbed the stairs, and found him at the top, leaning over the balcony.  
“Long time no see.” He greeted her, it was cheerful enough, “taking up with thugs and the like now?” He nodded at her dress.  
Natalie smiled in response, “Hey Nick, guess you could say that.”  
He scoffed, “And Gunners too?”  
“He's an alright kid once you get to know him.” She said with a tone of playfulness, then more serious, “Listen, I never thanked you for what you did. I couldn't do this without you.”  
“Don't mention it.” He answered in his usual tone. “And I would've done the same thing in your shoes, it wouldn't be right for me to put you at risk like that.” He finished. He didn't seem put off, but Natalie couldn't help but feel guilt and pain at the thought of the situation reversed. She would have hated to be left feeling like she was a threat to her partner, and her partner only seeing her as such.  
“I just didn't know what else to do.” She admitted, hoping it was enough to gain his understanding. She realized she wanted to go back out there with him, if he'd have her. But then she realized she wanted more. More than just a partner. “Is everything okay between us?” She was leaning against the railing too, looking at him with hope, indicating a hint.  
Silence.  
Finally, he broke it with, “I think you're a great partner detective, we do a good job out there.”  
Natalie searched his eyes, he gad gotten the hint, his words meant, “I am a synth, you are a human.” She didn't need to say anything else. She just stared at him, realizing too late she had played her hand too exposed, and he was playing his too close to his chest. She saw his words in his eyes though, they were apologetic, awkward, unsure.  
She nodded in the silence, and turned away to leave. She stopped before the stairs to look back at him, but he was looking out at the stars, and so she left.


End file.
